Brandy Jensen
Jezebel
Contact Brandy
Discover and connect with journalists and influencers around the world, save time on email research, monitor the news, and more.
| Recent: |
|
| Past: |
|
Past articles by Brandy:
Dear Fuck-Up: I Found Out My High School Bully Became a Teacher
Dear Fuck-Up, When I was a freshman in high school, I had my own type of oblivious that made me a really vulnerable target to bullying. In particular, there was one senior who seemed to delight in humiliating me in front of groups. He asked me at least once that I remember if I had ever seen a penis before—I was only 14 then, and I think this might have happened multiple times—and lied to me for… → Read More
Dear Fuck-Up: How Do I Stop Obsessing Over My Ex?
Dear Fuck-Up, I had a rather dysfunctional year-long relationship with a man—let’s call him James—that ended more than two years ago. Among other issues, I felt that I was very in love with him and he just... didn’t love me. I felt like I was always dancing for his attention—trying to be clever and interesting and sexy—and it was such a fucking high when I succeeded. I never really understood… → Read More
Dear Fuck-Up: I Feel Guilty That I Reneged on My Best Friend
Dear Fuck-Up, I met my best friend in college almost 20 years ago. After we graduated, due to life and career choices we have never lived in the same city, but stayed extremely close. We talk every day and have made an effort to see each other in person at least once every other month. Our friendship has always been effortless, supporting each other through life and knowing the other will be… → Read More
In Praise of Dangerous Ideas
The pillars upon which Western liberal democracy has been built—reason, the free exchange of ideas, commitment to truth-telling—grow more unstable by the day. Hacked apart by a ravenous mob of woke warriors, even the politicians, intellectuals, and writers traditionally tasked with their defense and maintenance either stand idly by or join in the revelry and plunder. Those few brave souls who… → Read More
I Have a Genius Idea for Small Kitchens and No, I'm Not High
I moved a few months ago into an apartment that has one of those big vintage sinks with a drainboard on either side, and I have come to love it very much. What it lacks in storage it makes up for in ease of maintenance and general, reassuring sturdiness. This is a sink that has weathered many human joys and tragedies over the years—all the cut flowers and burned lasagnas that make up a life. It… → Read More
The Lost Pirate Kingdom Is the Ideal Documentary for Me, a Dumbass
Imagine for a moment that it is Saturday morning and you are mildly hungover. Not so badly that you’re in physical distress, but enough to justify forgetting any errands you had planned and spending the day on the couch watching television. What are you watching? For me, the answer is always going to be a history documentary of questionable intellectual rigor, preferably hosted by a very… → Read More
Dear Fuck-Up: How Do I Make My Husband Love My Fat Sister?
Dear Fuck-Up, I love both my fat sister and my fat-shaming husband, but my obstinate husband makes loving them both very difficult. My sister is proud of being fat, she sees it as a sign that she is fully recovered from an eating disorder. I love her and am so proud of her. As teenagers we weren’t close, but since I’ve had a baby we’ve become really close (she is an amazing auntie!). When Covid… → Read More
Dear Fuck-Up: Must I Keep Watching My Friend Self-Sabotage?
Dear Fuck-Up, I feel like I’m at a crossroads with my best friend. We’ve known each other for more than 20 years (We’re in our late 30s). She’s extremely fun, outgoing, and loyal. She’s always been a bit more wild than me and to put it delicately, more of a mess. But that’s to be understood because she has trauma stemming back to her childhood, including many things I suspect she’s never told… → Read More
Dear Fuck-Up: When Do I Tell Someone I'm Dating About My Risk for Alzheimer's?
Dear Fuck-Up, I am 34 years old and at the point in my life where I am looking at relationships through the lens of “could this be a long-term commitment?” Frankly, it’s what I’m hoping for from dating at this point. My personal twist is that my family tree has a history of early-onset Alzheimer’s disease, which does have a large genetic component. There’s about a 40 percent chance that I’ll be… → Read More
There's No Defending Woody Allen After Allen v. Farrow
There are certain topics in American life that feel uniquely unconducive to fruitful conversation: abortion, the death penalty, Woody Allen. I believe what I believe—abortion should be widely available and free, the death penalty is an abomination, Woody Allen is a big-time creep—and it’s unlikely that anyone will change my mind, although many people persist in trying. → Read More
Oi It's Jezebel, Mate
G’day readers! Some unfortunate news for our antipodean friends as Facebook announced this arvo that they are declaring war on Australian news. → Read More
Dear Fuck-Up: Can I Say I Told You So to a Friend Who Got Covid?
Dear Fuck-Up, Throughout the pandemic, my partner and I have been very very careful about our exposure to the virus. We’ve done this out of fear for ourselves but also out of a sense of responsibility to everyone around us. We cook every meal at home and don’t really go out except for the occasional masked and distanced walk in the park with some friends. It sucks but until we are both… → Read More
Hello, I'm Here to Ruin Your Childhood For You
Hello, I am a television executive and I’m here to give you some great news. Remember that character you loved as a child from that show you would watch after school? Yes, the plucky one who you cheered for because you would imagine yourself being smart and brave and going on adventures with her instead of crying in front of the whole school when Matthew M said you got your winter coat from… → Read More
Dear Fuck-Up: How Do I Talk to My Boyfriend About His Depression?
Dear Fuck-Up, I’m in a relationship with a caring, funny, lovely guy. We got to know each other through political organizing, and have an easy friendship and a lot of common interests. Our relationship escalated quickly over the last year and a half, in part because of the pandemic and our decision to be each other’s “pod.” In the last few winter months, he’s become increasingly detached from… → Read More
Dear Fuck-Up: Should I Warn an Organization About a Rapist?
Dear Fuck-Up, In college, I was a member of an organization with a serial rapist. He was popular and well-liked, involved in leftist politics and campaigns, and regularly drugged and raped women. I never really knew him—I talked to him maybe a couple of times—but I knew two women he victimized, and I know they are not the only two. Every now and then, when my mind wanders to my college years, I… → Read More
We Need to Bring Back Clowning On Some Guy
When I joined Twitter back in 2015 it wasn’t a particularly nice place, which I must admit thrilled my little Canadian heart. This was around the time you would see long, overthought meditations on what was motivating people to be mean to each other online and it seemed very clear to me then as it does now that the answer is really no more sophisticated than “it’s fun.” → Read More
Ask a Fuck-Up On a Fucked-Up Year
Instead of answering a letter this week, I thought it might be appropriate to write a kind of end-of-year reflection, since it is the end of a calendar year even if it doesn’t feel like the end of anything in any meaningful way, more like the late middle if I am being optimistic. Fitting, I guess, given the themes of this column, that this seemed like a good idea at the time and has since proven… → Read More
I Have Defeated Lunch
Lunch is a bullshit meal. At my most successful, I can figure out something to eat at some point around noon that will not leave me bloated and desperate for a nap, but more often than not I find myself shoving cold leftovers into my face at 2:30 because I suddenly realized I’ve had four cups of coffee and nothing to eat and that’s why asking me to get any work done is like telling me to imagine… → Read More
Dear Fuck-Up: I No Longer Recognize the Woman I Married
Dear Fuck-Up, I literally have nobody else to talk to about any of this. A little background: I’m married; I’ve been with my wife for 20 years, married for most of them. The marriage has had damage. The past year has been the worst of it. We’re constantly at home, in each other’s faces, and it’s horrible. The election was contentious, too. The girl I fell in love with somehow went full Trump,… → Read More
Dear Fuck-Up: How Do I Move On When the World Is Stuck?
Dear Fuck-Up, Ever since I read your response to the guy who ruined his ex’s life, I have been an emotional wreck. For the past six months, I have done everything in my power to get over my ex. We dated for five years and lived together for the last two. I was definitely the one with less “sway” in the relationship (read: head over heels in love). I really thought we’d be life partners. About a… → Read More