Celia Rivenbark, StarNewsOnline

Celia Rivenbark

StarNewsOnline

Harkers Island, NC, United States

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Recent:
  • Unknown
Past:
  • StarNewsOnline

Past articles by Celia:

Celia Rivenbark: Fundraising womanless weddings were the OG drag shows

Humorist columnist Celia Rivenbark says drag shows are harmless fun. → Read More

Celia Rivenbark: People are passionate about their banana puddin’

If you use instant pudding to make your banana pudding, get ready for a fight. → Read More

Celia Rivenbark: What's your diet lifestyle choice? Kidding, I don't really care

Humor columnist Celia Rivenbark: Are you a sustainatarian, social omnivore , flexitarian or something else? → Read More

Celia Rivenbark: When the real goal is finding common ground

Humor columnist Celia Rivenbark writes about how Americans found common ground through soccer. → Read More

Celia Rivenbark: Elon Musk is curious about that bridge you wanna sell him

Humor columnist Celia Rivenbark says "Elon Musk is awful, y'all." → Read More

Celia Rivenbark: Are you really enjoying that extra hour of sleep? I'm not!

Humor columnist Celia Rivenbark writes that daylight saving time is not working with her cats. → Read More

Celia Rivenbark: My NASCAR experience was thrilling, terrifying and fabulous

Humor columnist Celia Rivenbark writes that her NASCAR experience was thrilling, terrifying and fabulous. → Read More

Celia Rivenbark: OK, Boomer; Emojis don't mean what you think they do

Humor columnist Celia Rivenbark says writes about how Boomers are getting emojis all wrong. → Read More

Celia Rivenbark: The IRS is going to steal your kidneys

Humor columnist Celia Rivenbark asks why some people would believe a lie and not the the truth when it comes to politics. → Read More

Neighbor ladies come through for wandering tabby

Celia Rivenbark: Neighbor ladies come through for wandering tabby → Read More

Celia Rivenbark: Feel like organizing and laminating and alphabetizing? Party on, Virgos

It's Virgo's month; time to get organized. And humor columnist Celia Rivenbark tells us how. → Read More

CELIA RIVENBARK: Who’s the purest Dem of them all ...

Apparently Elizabeth Warren prefers a single can of Old Milwaukee wrested from the bottom of the scratch and dent bin to a glass of fine wine. → Read More

CELIA RIVENBARK: An offer I hope we can refuse

Hons, I’m as terrified as a clutch of sorority girls hearing about the nationwide shortage of White Claw.Yes, there is fear deep in my marrow because Donald Trump’s campaign manager, Brad Parscale, recently told a group of enthusiastic supporters in California (!) he believes “The Trumps will be a dynasty that lasts for decades.”Great. Measles return and now THIS? (shakes fist at heavens, then… → Read More

CELIA RIVENBARK: And the winner is

Lost in all the kerfuffle of not buying Greenland, proclaiming to be The Chosen One and callously reneging on a pledge to support background checks for → Read More

CELIA RIVENBARK: Taking note of a rule to live by

At first, I thought it was an aberration, just a good friend trying to make life easier for me after a festive birthday dinner. Her tone was firm, leaving → Read More

CELIA RIVENBARK: For Trump, immigration hits home bigly

THE WHITE HOUSE, WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The president of the United States today told First Lady Melania Trump she should leave the United States and go back → Read More

CELIA RIVENBARK: All eyes look north ... to Trump and Kim

Think of the Trump/Kim bromance as the updated version of “An Affair to Remember” and “Sleepless in Seattle.”In “Trump → Read More

CELIA RIVENBARK: Maybe it really is just a nightmare ...

By Celia Rivenbark D.C. nap rooms? A capital idea “I love to sleep…it’s my favorite.” -- Famous Oval Office Visitor and presidential aspirant Kanye West If you doubt things are getting more stressful in the nation’s capital, consider this country mouse saw her very first “nap studio” during a recent visit to Washington. Located just a short walk from the beleaguered White House and constipated… → Read More

Drain the swamp ... or garbage disposal

Although I almost hate to write this out loud, it’s time to tell “the others” the truth: Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez is just messin’ with you.I hate to tell you because it’s hilarious when y’all get all high horsey about how “dumb as a box of hammers” the freshman from New York’s 14th Congressional District is because you honestly believe she is terrified of her own garbage disposal.I mean, hell,… → Read More

CELIA RIVENBARK: When did we start hating teachers?

I was reading the comments attached to a news story about public school teachers staging a rally in my home state of North Carolina (“Come for the No. 34 ranking in nationwide teacher pay; stay for the barbecue”) when it hit me: People really are idiots.Not all of y’all. But I gotta give a shout-out to the laboratory-quality dumbbell who wrote — and I am not making this up — “Teachers is paid… → Read More