Michael Ballaban
Jalopnik
New York, NY, United States
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Past articles by Michael:
Tesla Furloughs All 'Non-Essential' Employees Due To COVID-19
Tesla is putting its workers on hold and cutting salaries, car production is warily re-starting, airlines are cutting airplanes, and some ventilators. All that and more in the Morning Shift for April 8, 2020. → Read More
Ejecto Seat, Kristen Lee
It’s a lot harder to hire for this dang place than it looks. Sure a person can drive, but can they write? Sure, a person can write, but can they write well? Sure, a person can write well, but can they truly be Jalopnik? → Read More
General Motors Aims To Start Churning Out Ventilators By Mid-April
It’s not as easy as flipping a switch, Penske stretched thin, and Jeff Bezos’ rocket company, of course, gets its own special exemption. All that and more in the Morning Shift for March 30, 2020. → Read More
New York Requests 85 Refrigerated Trucks To House The Coming Dead
As of this morning, New York reported over 33,000 cases of coronavirus, and 325 dead. The state, however, estimates that it is still two to three weeks away from suffering under the deluge of peak infection. Accordingly, the New York Times reports that the state has requested 85 refrigerated trailers from FEMA to house the anticipated number of bodies as a result of COVID-19. → Read More
The U.S. Navy's Big Beautiful New Carrier Has Hilariously Messed Up Toilets
The USS Gerald R. Ford is a technological marvel. Its nuclear reactors can enable it to move for 25 years without re-fueling. It uses powerful electro-magnets to hurl aircraft into the sky. It has toilets designed so incredibly poorly that the entire system needs to be unclogged and flushed out with acid, yes acid, on a regular basis, at the cost of $400,000 a pop. → Read More
The Automotive Industry Is Grinding To An Undignified Halt
Toyota, Honda, and the Big Three have shut down manufacturing plants. Mercedes is keeping its Alabama factory open, but it will probably run out of parts. Tesla may or may not be contradicting a legal order not to produce cars, and Ford doesn’t want to sit on a mountain of repossessed vehicles. All that and more in The Morning Shift for March 19, 2020. → Read More
Family Owners Of Fiat And Ferrari Donate .1 Percent Of Net Worth To Fighting Coronavirus
The Financial Times once declared the late Gianni Agnelli to be the “uncrowned king of Italy.” His heirs, the Agnelli family, are conservatively estimated to be worth approximately €11 billion (with a b). The annual letter to shareholders sent out by their holding company, the EXOR Group, which holds large stakes in Fiat Chrysler and Ferrari, has a predilection for quoting from Ayn Rand. And… → Read More
Coronavirus Pandemic Shuts Down Lamborghini Factory
The global pandemic finally takes out Lamborghini, it looks like it may be about to take at least a chunk out of Fiat Chrysler, and Volkswagen’s got some technology. All that and more in the Morning Shift for March 13, 2020. → Read More
No American Trade Deal Could Make Up For Bentley's Brexit Hurt
Brexit may formally be a done deal but there’s still a lot to work out, and Coronavirus is wreaking havoc all over the world. All that and really a lot more about Coronavirus in the Morning Shift for March 4, 2020. → Read More
The Koenigsegg Gemara Is A 1,700 HP Warp Speed Machine For You And Your Kids
Okay just try to wrap your head around this, because I can’t. I’m just going to lay out the facts. It has a 600 horsepower three-cylinder twin-turbo engine. It has three electric motors. It’s got 1,700 HP total. It has one single gear. It will do zero to 60 mph in 1.9 seconds. It’ll do at least 250 mph. And it has two LATCH anchor positions for car seats. It’s the Koenigsegg Gemera and nothing… → Read More
The Coronavirus Epidemic Is Quickly Re-Shaping China's Auto Industry
Sales are way down as people stay home and factories stay shut, Tesla mows down a forest, and GM shuts down a plant and still somehow ends up on top. This is The Morning Shift for February 21, 2020. → Read More
DEAD: Holden
Farewell to Australia’s mightiest car company, Chinese manufacturers move to fill the gap, and the one country on Earth that actually has the political will to ban lots of things thinks about banning gasoline. All that and more in the Morning Shift for February 18, 2020. → Read More
Tesla Made Money But The Promises Are A Mixed Bag
Things are good if you’re a Tesla investor, Renault is backing off its attempt to swallow Nissan, and Jaguar-Land Rover stumbles a bit. All that and more in the Morning Shift for January 30, 2020. → Read More
Rivian Says Its Trucks May Be Cheaper Than Initially Promised
Rivians may be a little less expensive, the Wuhan Coronavirus outbreak is starting to affect the car world, and Ford offers to buy everyone lunch as an apology for selling cars with faulty transmissions. All that and more in the Morning Shift for January 27, 2020. → Read More
The Feds Are Reviewing A Petition To Investigate Tesla Over 'Unintended Acceleration'
Speedy Teslas, GM invests $40 million in engines, and Fiat is partnering with the iPhone manufacturer to build, what’s that? Oh yes, cars, Fiat wants to build cars. With the iPhone manufacturer. All that and more in The Morning Shift for January 17, 2020. → Read More
Japan Just Issued An Arrest Warrant For Carole Ghosn
The Carlos Ghosn drama takes another turn, Aston Martin isn’t doing so hot, and China might no longer be the saving grace that GM has long counted on. All that and more in The Morning Shift for January 7, 2020. → Read More
The 2020 BMW X6 M50i Is Better At Hauling A Baby Than You’d Think
Four hours. In total I spent four hours sitting, stationary, in a 2020 BMW X6 M50i, inhaling the musk of its rich black leather, fiddling with all sorts of random menu settings, adjusting the seat just so, and listening to the “caring car music” selection on the infotainment screen, on a random Tuesday in December. All because my nine-month-old boy, Benji, didn’t seem interested in waking up. → Read More
The Big Strong Fast and Furious Men Have Very Fragile Egos: Report
You would think, given the advanced state of musculature, experience, and career level of action stars like The Rock, Jason Statham, and Vin Diesel, that all three would feel very secure and self-actualized. You would, reportedly, be wrong! The Wall Street Journal hilariously says that all three top stars in the Fast and Furious cinematic universe have such massive egos that entire scenes have… → Read More
What Was the Last Supercar Flop?
The Jaguar XJ220 is, in the year 2019, considered a classic of the early 1990s supercar era. It’s right up there in the Pantheon with the Ferrari F40s and the Bugatti EB110s. But when it finally went on sale in 1992, it was a total disaster. → Read More
Here's Why We Don't Use Gunpowder to Power Cars
It’s a thought I am 100 percent certain you have all considered at some point. Guns use a big explosion to shoot a bullet REALLY fast, so why don’t we use the awesome power behind a speeding bullet to make a car go as fast as, well, a speeding bullet? Science, my friends. Science is the answer. → Read More