Tunde Asaju
TheCable
United Kingdom
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Past articles by Tunde:
The West and its innoculation racism
On Friday, November 26, I rolled up my sleeve for the booster shot of the COVID-19 vaccine. With that action, I have completed the mandated number of shots to keep → Read More
The parable of my wicked uncles
To the uncles I had ascribed wickedness, I hope that God would forgive me. Now I know how willing your flesh was, only your wallets were not → Read More
Nigeria’s road to Afghanistan
Unlike wailers, you can’t imagine how happy I was seeing the long lines of ‘ex-Boko haram’ combatants streaming freely into towns and villages as redeemed prodigals. The sight of wives → Read More
Buhari, Chekwara’s London education summit
Nigerians are very difficult to serve. You can confirm that from my good friend, Femi Adesina. We were all aware that President Muhammadu Buhari was on his way to London → Read More
In defence of cousin Dino
Nigerians can be horrible people. Those who are born, raised and betrothed to poverty can’t understand the lure of wealth. So, let me be among the first to congratulate Sinnator → Read More
When our oppressors fight, we take sides –
But for the universality of justice, a quarrel between a governor and his erstwhile deputy or a spat between contending forces in the ruling house should not bother us. Indeed, when we were in seco… → Read More
Memo to Katsina bandits –
If I didn’t know the Katsinawa as great Nigerians who have twice given us their very best, I would have lost sleep over the fake videos circulating on social media purporting that Katsina is on pro… → Read More
This is your life, America –
It was a bubble. Bubbles are always very attractive. In summer they shine like mini-rainbow, but they have a very thin veneer. Just as they float in orbital bliss they are soon punctured and fizzle… → Read More
Say no to rape –
Every excuse made to justify rape would for ever remain what they are – lame excuses. A pretext does not excuse a misdemeanor anymore than ignorance absolves guilt in law. The debate over sex… → Read More
Uwa: Tragedy of nation that rapes its citizens –
At 22, life had just started for Vera Uwaila Omozuwa. The 100 Level Microbiology student of the University of Benin could not wait for schools to reopen to take her studies seriously. She had her eyes set on a career in the health sector. While other Jambites were frolicking at home due to the COVID-19 […] → Read More
Pissing on George Floyd’s body –
I have a confession to make. A few weeks back, my younger sister was chatting with me when she blurted out that the police arrested my youngest brother for video recording! You heard right! The det… → Read More
Covid-19 and the face of government scam –
The Minister of Health, Dr. Osagie Ehanire, will not make it as a serial liar. Based on how poor he performed before Femi Gbajabiamila at the Covid-19 hearing, Ehanire will score F9 on the Richter … → Read More
A hate on the Chinese is overdue –
The Chinese are horrible people. Quote me on that. For hundreds of years they were in Africa stealing our common patrimony without paying a dime. History tells that African gemstones adorn their Queen’s crown. Her palace was built on the treasures of Africa. Wasn’t it China that took custody of the Benin carving used for … → Read More
In politics educated or learned is overrated –
Education is overrated. The signs are everywhere of educated people behaving badly. Last week, a colleague of mine posted a Facebook SOS. He was ‘arrested’ in the line of duty – journalism by a police inspector. Inspectors are supposed to know who qualifies to be on essential duty but then education is overrated. In Benue, … → Read More
The trial of Bill Gates –
They found the missing link between Covid19 and humanity. His name is William Henry Gates III. Of course you probably know him by the moniker Bill Gates. Married to Melinda Ann French also popularly known as Melinda Gates and three lovely girls to nurture. Experts at estimating wealth say the Gates’s were the second richest … → Read More
Why the cut ‘n’ paste lockdown failed Nigeria –
These are not the best of times to approach governance without blueprint. Covid-19 has not been kind to governments with tailor-made dress rehearsals for national and global emergencies. One could then imagine the effect on people enamoured to the privileges of office who deny its responsibilities. The evidence is growing, that as the virus crosses … → Read More
You’re not a nation, Nigeria –
One Nigeria? No sir. Nigeria exists only during a football tournament in which the Eagles of whatever nomenclature are winning. If they’re losing kperen, you suddenly realise what they say – that Nigeria is just a mere wish of a colonial overlord and his fairly imaginative girlfriend. It’s okay, history teachers regale us with stories … → Read More
COVID-19: Missed opportunities –
Covid-19 is a global emergency, that’s what a pandemic is. It means that every nation is responsible for how it deals with it with a little help from global agencies and donors. Taking care of the infected and containing spread is absolutely a national responsibility – or is it? This was how prepared we were. … → Read More
Abba Kyari, knocking on Heaven’s door –
Did you get the memo? Some Nigerians want Allah to keep Malam Abba Kyari on the waiting list to Jannah while they look for reasons why he should not be admitted. Strange isn’t it? Well, don’t be surprised; we are closer to God than Jerusalem, Rome or Mecca residents in our spirituality. We believe we … → Read More
Iwo and the tale of its unbearable King –
I have not stopped crying since Abdullahi Umar Ganduje broke the back of the culture of my beloved city, Kano by deposing its Emir. The removal of Muhammadu Sanusi II would have been an act of treason in 1804 for which, Ganduje would have been beheaded right in front of Gidan Rumfa or Kofar Kudu. … → Read More