Michelle Hauser
The Whig-Standard
Canada
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Past articles by Michelle:
Where’s the fight to ‘oot and aboot’?
I used to think a career in radio might be fun, but this week too much on-air banter about the Canadian stomach and what defines it left me feeling as though I’d dodged a bullet having chosen to ply this trade in print versus on the airwaves. → Read More
On birds and bees and cats and dogs
This column may sound cruel in places, but let me remind you that Mother Nature can be very cruel and so can I, especially when I've been robbed of a week's worth of sleep by a cat in heat or Miss Shameless Hussybritches as I now like to call her. (T.S. Eliot would have come up with a more creative name than that, but it's the best this especially → Read More
Manning up means learning to pitch in
I was wrong about the man I married, thinking he might make a good father. Good isn't in his plans and even great is a little underwhelming. Nothing short of exceptional will do. → Read More
Ontario’s frog prince has lot to prove
For most of us, politics is like the steady hum of a kitchen appliance: a constant player in the working machinery and background noise of everyday life. Just as a refrigerator helps us feed ourselves without getting food poisoning, there are all kinds of important things going on behind the curtain of government that are really easy to take for gr → Read More
Backyard battlefield is no more
My husband and I have had our fair share of marriage meltdowns over the past 15 years. But when we play Marchelle’s Greatest Hits Album — laughing hysterically now that enough time has passed to allow us to find the funny in so much mule-headedness — it’s impossible to miss the startling seasonal pattern. More than half of these tortured love balla → Read More
No one puts Jesus on the bench
Thanks to the power of technology -- and that the internet was awash with delectable royal wedding party snack ideas -- the world went to church last Saturday, and at least some people seemed surprised that the whole affair involved, well, going to church. → Read More
The patients in the hall
Amid Ontario PC leader Doug Ford’s call for Hydro heads to roll and Premier Kathleen Wynn’s catering to commuters with promises of high-speed rail, an issue of substance managed to survive the rhetoric of the provincial election campaign this week. The phrase “Hallway Medicine” is officially trending. → Read More
Good mother turns fearless mother
Together we dug a moat so deep that several days later even the tide hadn't completely washed it away. → Read More
Rebellion against micromanaged message
Kudos to The Canadian Press this week for treating us to a behind-the-scenes glimpse of political damage control at work -- if it can be called work -- and some of the more fault-ridden mechanics of our bloated bureaucracy. → Read More
Grasping at straws about plastic straws
Somewhere off the coast of Costa Rica is a sea turtle that has no clue he sparked a worldwide consumer movement to ban plastic straws. With any luck, Tortuga X has no memory of the monster headache he suffered after a team of scientists extracted what they thought was a worm but quickly discovered was indeed → Read More
Feelings, wo-oh-oh feelings
When I was young, my mother's mood ring was an endless source of fascination. I'd sneak into her bedroom, stumble around in high-heeled shoes I couldn't begin to fill, covered in red lipstick I was way too young to pull off, and eventually settle down in front of her jewelry box to see what the magic ring had to say. → Read More
Apologies to the accidental April tourist
News, Local, Provincial, Canada, World, Sports, High School Sports, Local Hockey, Hockey, Basketball, Baseball, Football, Soccer, Lacrosse, Curling, Other Sports, Entertainment, Local, Movies, Music, Television, Celebrities, Life, Health, Food, Travel, Money, Opinion, Editorial, Letters, Column, Your Newspaper, Social medias, Events, UR, News, Sports, Life, Entertainment, Money, Opinion,… → Read More
The Bichon Frise, aka a Stormtrooper of love
My mother has no capacity to discipline my younger brother and I suppose that, in a nutshell, is the source of my jealousy. → Read More
Silence still the norm for even bravest
Intervention is synonymous with “going out on a limb” for good reason: it’s hard, it takes tremendous courage, and it’s incredibly dangerous. → Read More
Drivers totally unaware winter was not summer
Old Man Winter may have a blast or two left in him, but it's safe to say spring is about to have the final word -- she's so beautifully bloomy and bossy that way. I don't think it is tempting fate, then, to officially announce that after several years on hiatus, I have overcome my fear of driving on Highway 401 in the winter. → Read More
The houseguests are coming ...
News, Local, Provincial, Canada, World, Sports, High School Sports, Local Hockey, Hockey, Basketball, Baseball, Football, Soccer, Lacrosse, Curling, Other Sports, Entertainment, Local, Movies, Music, Television, Celebrities, Life, Health, Food, Travel, Money, Opinion, Editorial, Letters, Column, Your Newspaper, Social medias, Events, UR, News, Sports, Life, Entertainment, Money, Opinion,… → Read More
Channelling the Olympic spirit
Robin Godfrey was the best figure skater at our club. She could consistently land a triple toe loop and a double Axel. (This was 1983 -- five years before Midori Ito raised the bar on women's figure skating by becoming the first woman to land a triple Axel.) → Read More
U.S. students : A force to be reckoned with
Can we even dare to imagine that a place named in honour of a crusader is where America’s crusade to save itself from gun violence will make a significant turning point, or at least become unstuck? → Read More
The story of Beatriz Perez, or Sex Ed: The Sequel
Here’s an invitation to Doug Ford and Tanya Granic Allan — who joined the Tory leadership race this week — and any other candidate who wants to waste valuable campaign time between now and March 10 panning the provincial government’s sex education curriculum for political gold: come to my house, pull up a chair in the kitchen, and let me tell you t → Read More
Mulroney forfeits her winner-take-all card
The word of the day is choice. It’s a good, simple word but it’s terribly political. → Read More