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Targeted ads are a terrible idea. Not only do they freak you out following a deluge of Pampers ads after you audibly said “diapers” once while talking to your brother-in-law about your nephew, but also why are you hocking the pair of shoes I just bought?I agree that my taste is impeccable; I don’t need… → Read More
I’ve been trying to determine what has me so hyped for snowboard season. Is it the fact that, hopefully by then, everyone will have enough respect for a pandemic that they’ll get vaccinated (or die off, whatever happens first) and we won’t have burdensome restrictions? Or I’m putting way too much pressure on this winter… → Read More
Friendships in Aspen are a lot like that scene at the end of “Sandlot” when the narrator tells you what each kids goes on to do as they slowly fade away. → Read More
Today we’re focusing on happy thoughts. (Don’t you do this to me. You can’t suppress me forever.) After a sluggish start to the winter season, Ullr has blessed us with a bountiful few weeks of snow. (Up until three weeks ago it felt like mid-November, you nitwit. Sluggish is not the right word. Abysmal. Say… → Read More
You can find all kinds of things on the internet. Looking for a pair of Nike Air Penny IIs that, last time you had them, were in kids’ sizes? → Read More
To Sean Beckwith, things in Aspen feel a little bit like the post-Thanos snap from Avenger's End Game due to the coronavirus. → Read More
Nothing is scarier than the world we’re already living in, but if you still need a costume idea that’s 2020 appropriate, here are some suggestions from the guys of Writing Switch. → Read More
With the end of the NBA season a month or so out, have you caught postseason fever? It spreads quicker than corona and is just as hard to shake. → Read More
If you paid too much for weed in high school, you were considered a duck. Everyone knows that guy. Drug dealers hate getting his phone call because a duck → Read More
It’s a new decade — and possibly a new you. Now is the time to reapply yourself at the gym, buy vegetables and actually eat them, only drink on the weekends or whatever self-improvement you have planned for 2020. Or, you could bring in the New Year the same way you left it: drunk. Yes,… → Read More
You know when you put a ton of effort into something and it turns out it was just a huge waste of time? Like when you force an entire city to vote on a project, lobby for it and get it passed only to see developers pull out? Or you write a column decrying the… → Read More
In the land of the bros, the bro who sends hardest is king. However, if you’re a regular person who wants to know, “Should I try that activity?” as it relates to enjoying your vacation without a stay at the Aspen Valley Hospital, here is the Bro Scale. If you’re confused as to what a… → Read More
BW: When I moved out of my airy, bright studio and upgraded to a subterranean one-bedroom hermit hole with an obnoxiously creaky bedframe, so too went recognition of the weather outside and quite frankly the motivation to participate in any of it. Bluebird days that were once filled with thoughts of “I’m going on a… → Read More
Improv! It’s a really funny concept that often ends in really unfunny fashion. If you’re talented and smart enough to excel off the cuff, it’s great, but no one → Read More
Ahh, April Fools Day: The one time per year more people pick up the competing newspaper rather than The Aspen Times. Since our paper is all things serious all → Read More
We’re faced with difficult choices every day. Do I wait in the Silver Queen Gondola line for 45 minutes or hoof it over to Lift 1A and have oil sprayed in my face during the ride up? Do I really need an ounce from Silverpeak or should I keep it calm with an $18 eighth?… → Read More
One of the many advantages of living in a ski town is investing in a ski pass and, as a result, being able to parse out time on the → Read More
One of the best aspects of being a real comic book fan is the arguments they create. Who’s the better detective: Batman or Dare Devil? (Batman.) Who’s the better → Read More
I realize there’s still another season between now and when the lifts start spinning but I’m already fantasizing about tight trees, powder anxiety, apres skiing, bluebird days, no turn → Read More
In the land of eternal hot takes that is 2017, it’s hard to shock people. Opening a newspaper, turning on the news or checking Twitter can attest to as → Read More