Vanessa Marin
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Past articles by Vanessa:
What to Do When Your Sex Drive Is Low
After jokes about a coming pandemic baby boom in early March 2020, reality seems to have sunk in: According to The Atlantic, a “baby bust” is much more likely. A significant portion of the population has reported experiencing a decreased sex drive since this mess began, according to the Collaborative Outcomes Study on Health and Functioning During Infection Times. When the world seems to be… → Read More
Why Some People With Penises Don't Orgasm From Vaginal Intercourse
In this edition of Sexual Resolution, sex therapist Vanessa Marin answers a question from a reader whose partner can't orgasm from penetrative vaginal intercourse. She suggests trying other methods of sex, including oral sex, anal play, and manual stimulation. → Read More
How to Deal With Biphobia and Bisexual Erasure In Your Relationship
In this edition of Sexual Resolution, sex therapist Vanessa Marin answers a question from a reader who recently came out to her boyfriend as bisexual, and he didn't take it well. She gives advice about how to move forward. → Read More
What to Do If Birth Control Pills Affect Your Sex Drive
In this edition of Sexual Resolution, sex therapist Vanessa Marin answers a question from a reader who thinks that her birth control may be lowering her libido. She gives a few tips for what to ask her doctor about, as well as offers some information about different types of birth control. → Read More
How to Set Boundaries for Rough Sex With Your Partner, According to a Sex Therapist
Licensed sex therapist Vanessa Marin answers a question from a reader who says she likes rough sex but hasn't found a way to explain to her partner that she doesn't want to be choked or slapped. → Read More
The Best Handjob Technique, According to a Sex Therapist
In this edition of sexual resolution, sex therapist Vanessa Marin gives a reader some tips for how to give better handjobs, including blindfolding, edging, and foreplay. → Read More
How to Support a Partner With Trauma, According to a Sex Therapist
In this edition of Sexual Resolution, sex therapist Vanessa Marin advises a reader to how to suggest sex therapy to his girlfriend, who has experienced sexual trauma in her past. Sometimes, she is triggered during sex, and he wants to offer her support without suggesting she's damaged or broken. → Read More
How Sexting With a Partner Makes Your Sex Life Better
In this week's Allure sex column, sex educator Vanessa Marin explains how to get more comfortable talking to your partner about what you like during sex. Starting with sexting is one helpful tip, as is communicating about boundaries IRL in non-sexual situations before you move to the bedroom. → Read More
How to Talk About Sex When You Have Different Communication Styles
In this edition of Sexual Resolution, sex therapist Vanessa Marin answers a question from a reader who worries about being incompatible with her boyfriend's communication style. Marin gives the reader practical tips for bridging the communication gap, including how to ask for space and how to explain triggers. → Read More
How to Figure Out What You Like in the Bedroom
Imagine you’re in the middle of having sex with your partner, and they ask you, “What do you want to do next?” On its surface, this might sound like a caring, considerate question. But in the moment, many people panic and struggle to come up with an answer. That’s because a lot of people feel like they don’t really “know themselves” sexually. They don’t understand what they want or like. If… → Read More
What Does a Sex Therapist Do? What to Expect From Sex Therapy
In this edition of Sexual Resolution, Vanessa Marin answers a question from a reader who is considering going to sex therapy with her partner but isn't sure what it entails or whether or not she's ready for it. She explains to the reader the goals, plus how it can help people attain a healthy sex life. → Read More
Why Can’t I Make Eye Contact During Sex?
In this edition of Sexual Resolution, sex therapist Vanessa Marin answers a question from a reader who has trouble making eye contact with her partner during sex. Marin gives the reader practical tips for how to deal with being uncomfortable around vulnerability, and how to practice making eye contact. → Read More
Do You Need Pelvic Floor Physical Therapy?
You’ve probably never heard of pelvic floor physical therapy before, and that’s a shame: It’s an extremely helpful treatment option for a variety of difficult medical conditions. Your pelvic floor drapes across your pelvic area like a hammock, and supports the pelvic organs (the uterus, bladder, and rectum). It also assists with urinary and anal continence, and serves a role in core strength and… → Read More
The Anxiety of Chronic UTIs and Yeast Infections
In this edition of Sexual Resolution, sex therapist Vanessa Marin answers a question from a reader who has anxiety about getting a UTI (urinary tract infection) or yeast infection nearly every time she has sex. Marin gives the reader practical tips for how to deal with her anxiety over this issue, plus how to avoid the chronic UTIs and infections. → Read More
What You Need to Know About Sexual Pain
Did you know that 30% of women experienced pain during their last sexual encounter? 30%! But as common as it is, sexual pain doesn’t get enough press. There are millions of women suffering in silence, unaware that there are treatment options for their pain. In order to help me cover this important topic, I spoke with Dr. Sonia Bahlani, a pelvic pain specialist based out of New York City. → Read More
How to Tell Your Partner What You Want in Bed
In this edition of Sexual Resolution, sex therapist Vanessa Marin answers a question from a reader who is unsure how to give her partner feedback in bed. She suggests thinking about it as suggestions rather than instructions, and thinking about what you want in bed ahead of time. → Read More
My Religious Guilt Is Getting In the Way of My Sex Life — Sex Therapist Advice
In this edition of Sexual Resolution, sex therapist Vanessa Marin answers a question from a reader whose religious guilt stops them from being able to enjoy sexual situations, including masturbating and sex with partners. Marin suggests working slowly to dismantle the ideas about sex that religion has created and trying to adopt new ones. → Read More
Can Masturbating Too Much Make My Clit Go Numb?
In this edition of Sexual Resolution, sex therapist Vanessa Marin answers a question from a reader who worries her masturbation technique is overloading her clitoris. After masturbating recently, her clit went numb. Marin gives advice about how to avoid this and an assurance that it's likely only temporary. → Read More
Hands-Free Masturbation Tips & Techniques From a Sex Therapist
In this edition of Sexual Resolution, sex therapist Vanessa Marin answers a question from a reader whose hands get tired while masturbating. She explains some techniques for hands-free masturbation, including grinding, using a showerhead, and sex toys that can help you reach orgasm. → Read More
When Your Partner Has a Sexual Fantasy That You’re Not Into
Sometimes it’s hot when your partner shares a particular fantasy or desire, but other times, your partner might tell you about a certain fantasy that you’re just not into. Maybe monogamy is important to you, and you can’t get on board with the idea of a threesome. Maybe you’re a sexual abuse survivor, and wouldn’t feel safe playing with restraints. Or maybe you’re just not turned on by the idea… → Read More