Alex Falcone
Portland Mercury
Portland, OR, United States
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Past articles by Alex:
Not Invited Back in 2019
Oh hello, I didn’t see you come in. I was just sitting by this fake fireplace petting a corgi that is not my corgi and drinking a hot chocolate spiked with more chocolate, just like I do every January as I agonize over my definitive list of things that are disinvited from the Earth in the new year. This isn’t some pedestrian kvetching; this is a list of highly relevant, exquisitely topical,… → Read More
Not Invited Back for 2018
Alex Falcone’s annual list of Portland’s most annoying annoyances. → Read More
Alex Falcone’s Things Not Invited Back in 2017
The annual list of things from 2016 that were just “no.” → Read More
Other Lies from Chelsea Lately’s Jen Kirkman
Depending on which waters you swim in, Jen Kirkman is most famous as a panelist on Chelsea Lately, a narrator on Drunk History, a podcaster, a comic or a nonfiction writer. While there’s plenty of overlap between those disciplines, very few comics have translated their writing into a full-length book as skillfully as Kirkman has. … Continue reading Other Lies from Chelsea Lately’s Jen Kirkman → Read More
The Bronze Is Raunchy Comedy Gold
There were rumblings suggesting The Bronze might be lucky to make it to the podium at all. Distribution was troubled, the release dates shifty and publicity limited. Rumblings. But one minute into the film, former Olympian Hope Ann Greggory—played by writer Melissa Rauch, from The Big Bang Theory—masturbates to a video of herself winning the medal for the U.S. → Read More
Tina Fey Sucks on Bilbo Baggins’ Fingers in Whiskey Tango Foxtrot
Tina Fey stars in this light comedy about the war in Afghanistan, based on the book The Taliban Shuffle by the Chicago Tribune writer Kim Barker who was sent to cover Afghanistan with no prior experience in a war zone. → Read More
The 88th Annual Obscure Awards
As you’re probably aware, the Academy Awards telecast only shows you only a sliver of the awards given out. So, I’ve combed every industry rumor mill and back channel to advise you on your predictions for these lesser-known Oscars. → Read More
The Top 5 Jesuses on Film
We ranked the best portrayals of Jesus on film. We narrowed it down to five. Then that five turned into six because of a tie. It’s a miracle! → Read More
How to Be Single
Dating is hard, not sure if you’ve heard. It’s especially hard for four single women in New York who are, like, different kinds of single! → Read More
SMOOCH! IT'S MERCURY READER VALENTINES!
Editor's Note: The Mercury loves "love"—and once again we proving it by printing mushy-gushy valentines written by YOU, the Mercury reader! Did you get a... → Read More
Austen’s Undead
Pride and Prejudice and Zombies is a funny idea. The title is funny; the concept of adding zombie scenes to a brilliant, public domain novel is funny; that somebody actually took the time to write it is very funny. But the book itself is not funny. → Read More
Will You Survive?
The 5th Wave opens this weekend, and you’d be forgiven for thinking you’ve seen it before. The title even sounds like a reminder that we’ve been overrun with these identical movies for the past 10 years. The Hunger Games (x 4), Divergent (x 2), The Host, The Mortal Instruments, The Giver, The Maze Runner (x 2) and…and…and… → Read More
Your Youth Is Showing
I spent the bulk of Youth feeling like I must be missing an important metaphor, or 20, because I’m too young. Or American. Or just dumb. → Read More
How to Live Like a Baller in Portland
I ALWAYS ASSUMED I'd make my first million by 30. I put that goal out into the Universe over and over again, but either The Secret is total bullshit, or the Universe has been on vacation and forgot to create an out-of-office email reply. So here I am, in my golden years (early 30s), and my net worth is about a million dollars short of a million dollars. But that isn't going to stop me from… → Read More
Free Love
It's a guide to Portland's free shit. → Read More
Win Tickets to See Hutch & Kathy, Amy Miller, and Free Ice Cream!
The Mercury-sponsored talk show Late Night Action w/ Alex Falcone is back this Saturday, Sept 12 at Mississippi Studios at 7 pm with a special... → Read More
Boat Cribs!
Ever wonder about people who live on floating homes? Let's take a peek inside some of Portland's boat cribs! → Read More
Weird Timing on the Car2go Price Increase
Car2Go announced at the end of last week that they're adding a $1 fee to every rental of those blue and white gocarts they leave... → Read More