Cherilynn Veland
PsychCentral
Chicago, IL, United States
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Past articles by Cherilynn:
New Tool for Decision Making for Moms
This article talks about a new tool for decision making for moms called the DEF Scale. DEF stands for Daily Ease of Functioning. It's a way to strategize and smartly reduce your efforts to help make the most of your time. Moms, especially, can benefit from this tool. → Read More
Is It Okay to Cut Off My Annoying Relatives for the Holidays? Here’s How To Do It
In some cases, it is best to not be around people in your family. → Read More
I Don’t Feel Like I Fit In
Suppose you are new, or you feel new wherever you are. What does it mean to fit in? Maybe you are feeling left out. What if. → Read More
Cancer, Chemo and Other Ordeals: Nita’s Story
Do you need some inspiration today? After getting to know Nita, I knew I wanted to share her story with readers at PsychCentral. Through cancer, chemo and other ordeals, Nita has kept moving forward, and her ordeals have been very hard. I have been... → Read More
Are You Afraid to Ask for a Change?
How do I ask for things to change? This is a popular question and it’s one I get asked a lot as a psychotherapist and counselor. A lot of you out there want to make changes or ask for something different in your relationships, but you are... → Read More
Top 10 Annoying In-Law Issues
In-law relationships can be some of the most complicated with tension arising sometimes at every turn. Let me count the ways … // 1. They think they have a right to tell you what to do. Meddling mothers-in-law or fathers-in-law can do serious... → Read More
Are You In A Relationship With An Everyday Sadist?
Could you be in a relationship with an “everyday sadist?” Someone who has everyday sadism is an average person who not only lacks empathy but enjoys inflicting harm on others. Do you know someone like this? Or, perhaps you interact with... → Read More
What Is An Emotional Affair And What To Do About It
Research shows that heterosexual men are much less likely to get upset about emotional affairs versus affairs where physical/sexual contact has occurred. Women are more likely to be upset about emotional affairs. // What are emotional affairs? How... → Read More
Why Won’t My Boyfriend Commit? The One-Foot-Out Guys & One Type of Unequal Partnership
Many a wonderful Giveaway Girl has spent years hitched to a guy or partner who will not move forward with her. These guys seem perfect on the surface. → Read More
What’s Wrong With Me?
My friend’s husband is leaving her. He used to have more interest in her and the kids, but then his work and his golf game took over. It was obvious to everyone, including her, that his priorities were misaligned. When he left her, she thought... → Read More
What To Do When You Have To Spend Time With Selfish People
I recently spent a lot of time with someone who was incredibly self-centered. It was an awful experience. Here are some examples of annoying behavior I have experienced with selfish people: 1. Dot refuses to say thank you or show appreciation for anything... → Read More
Box Car Willies
Do You Always End Up Paying The Bills? Boxcar Willies and Unequal Partnerships My husband and I went to a fabulous wedding where Joan and Bill got married at a typical chandelier dripping, hotel ballroom. The bride and groom looked so happy. People said... → Read More
Get Better at Standing Your Ground
There are certain weapons that people use against women—what I like to call weapons of mass detriment (WMDs)—that keep women from standing their ground. WMDs play into women’s insecurities, and they’re highly disrespectful. Many of my clients... → Read More
Understanding Your Emotional Response
People ask me, how do I explain my feelings that I resent my husband/partner? Whenever you give it away, do too much, take on too much for another, or enable dysfunctional behavior, you unwittingly set into motion a wave that builds and cannot... → Read More
5 Ways We Argue With Our Emotions
Of all the ways we argue with each other, have you ever thought you might be arguing with yourself and your feelings too? One of the biggest ways we contribute to our unhappiness is to argue with our emotions. How do we argue with our emotions? The process... → Read More
Wounds and Scars: Dealing With Trauma
I was a gymnast as a kid, a very good one too. Then one day my achilles tendon snapped. It was a terrible injury and it left a terrible scar, a protruding lump I still have today. When it hurt more and was closer to the end of kid-me’s dreams of being... → Read More
Holly Madison
If you are partnered with someone who occasionally says mean things to you, or confuses you with statements that make you feel uncomfortable or that lead you to increased insecure feelings about yourself, please watch out. Holly Madison sounds like... → Read More
How To Stop Arguing: Are You Arguing With Someone’s Feelings?
“You can either be right, or you can be happy.” — Smart Person Couples have come into my office (20+ years of them) because they’re arguing too much, and the arguments are getting them nowhere. // Arguing with someone’s... → Read More
8 Types Of Unequal Partnerships
In my post last week at PsychCentral, I mentioned thinking of emotions as warning signals. If you are feeling what might be considered “emotional” or “over-emotional” in a relationship, then it’s time to take a look at... → Read More
Are You Overemotional Or Are You Just Being Manipulated?
How many times have you expressed a strong thought, feeling or desire at work and had someone marginalize you with a condescending statement, look or gesture indicating that you were being “too emotional” or even “hysterical?” Ever had... → Read More