Ken Layne
Wonkette
Joshua Tree, CA, United States
Contact Ken
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Past articles by Ken:
Put Some Food On Your Family With Aunt Wonkette's Real Cranberry Business
Or mine. Mine's better. It's next. → Read More
Making Thanksgiving 'Monkey Bread' With Nancy Reagan
Oh Nancy. → Read More
Betty Ford's Boozy Chocolate Cake
Mom, who are those people? → Read More
Make Thanksgiving 'Monkey Bread' With Nancy Reagan, FOREVER!
Good lord, Wonkette, you're still running this recipe? → Read More
Put Some Food On Your Family With Aunt Wonkette's Real Cranberry Business
We hereby challenge Susan Stamberg to a cage match. Of cranberry recipes. → Read More
Put Some Food On Your Family With Aunt Wonkette’s Real Cranberry Business
We hereby challenge Susan Stamberg to a cage match. Of cranberry recipes. → Read More
Betty Ford’s Boozy Chocolate Cake
Mom, who are those people? → Read More
Making Thanksgiving ‘Monkey Bread’ With Nancy Reagan, FOREVER!
Her astrologer said the stars were propitious. She assumed that had something to do with blowjobs. → Read More
Time Again For Wonkette’s Annual Children’s Treasury Of Terrible 9/11 Art
It's our annual collection of bad 9/11 art by bad 9/11 artists → Read More
Make This Leftover Stuffing Strata For Your Guests Who Refuse To Go Home
Does Yr Wonket like to cram things down your throat? Yes! Yr Wonket DOES like to cram things down your throat! Delicious things. Here are some of them: → Read More
Put Some Food On Your Family With Aunt Wonkette’s Real Cranberry Business
Richard Nixon on Wonkette's Cranberry Business: 'This cranberry business PUNISHES No first lady could even imagine making something as wonderful and perfect as your editor's famous Wonkette Actual Awesome Real Cranberry Business. It is one of those things that just blows people away, because they assume it must be so hard to make real cranberry → Read More
Christopher Columbus Was A Dick
[As you know, it is Wonkette tradition to bring you Wonkette classics from the old-timey before days, because they are still frickin' awesome. To celebrate America's greatest American, Christopher Columbus, aka That Dick, let us enjoy, again, ... → Read More
Whatever Happened To The Camgirls? An Internet History With Tony Pierce
Before Flickr, before Tumblr, before Instagram or Chatroulette or sideboob slideshows on corporate media websites, there was TonyPierce.com. From his East Hollywood bachelor pad at the dawn of the century, Tony combined his own L.A. snapshots with pilfered ... → Read More
How To Accidentally 'Invent Liveblogging'
When Joe Biden and Zombie Ayn Rand Paul Ryan begin their televised debate Thursday night, hundreds of professional media employees will be "liveblogging" the proceedings for hundreds of topical websites, from the New York Times to (maybe?) PerezHilton.com. Millions ... → Read More
Today We Honor Columbus, An Inspiration to Cruel Half-Wits Everywhere
For centuries after his accidental discovery of the Bahamas, Christopher Columbus was a true hero of history. But then the alternative histories were published, and the colonization of the New World was revealed to be a nightmare of atrocity and terror. Still, we can learn something from this stubborn idiot who insisted until the day he died that Cuba was part of Asia. → Read More
Let's Give Our Veterans the Only Thing They Want: A Mission
We know what's wrong with Veteran's Day. We know this country is crawling with jobless, homeless veterans of America's constant occupations and invasions. We know there aren't enough jobs for these people already burdened with so much, and no labor market demand for the "skill set" of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and existential dread. And yet they went out there and committed whatever insanity… → Read More
Labor Day Is a Scam To Keep You Poor and Miserable Forever
Labor Day is a complete rip-off. Labor isn't celebrated at allâinstead, a single day's break from labor is celebrated. You might think this is a stupid thing to care about, because Labor Day is really just about getting drunk in your yard, again. But that's actually evidence of this very successful con job pulled on you, the American worker (or unemployed person, or discouraged worker, or "grad… → Read More
Memorial Day's Real Heroes Are These Loser Tea Party Candidates
Aerial drones and roving robots have taken over the work of America's fighting forces. The remaining humans in the military are mostly concerned with Wiccan worship, transgender issues, and health care controversies at the Veteran's Administration. Maybe it's time to start honoring some real heroes on Memorial Day: the Tea Party candidates who lost their primaries to "RINO" Republican incumbents. → Read More
Heart of Blandness: A Walking Tour of Silicon Valley
Walking is the only pleasant form of traveling by land. You need no special equipment, training, money, e-tickets, antidepressants, or Twitter followers. Whatever clothes you're wearing will do fine; a hat and shoes are optional. When I've got a few days to spend somewhere, I spend them walking around. So I spent a few days walking around Silicon Valley. → Read More
Chevron Rewards Survivors of Fracking Explosion With Pizza Coupon
What does Chevron owe the people of a small Pennsylvania town after two of the oil giant's fracking wells exploded and burned for five days? A free pizza and a two-liter bottle of soda, that's what. At least that's better than being immediately killed in the explosion. → Read More