Tom Reimann
Cracked.com
Los Angeles, CA, United States
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Past articles by Tom:
The New Tech Startup That is Disrupting Phones
Innovation Visionary T.K. Breauski invites you to be part of the exciting revolution he’s bringing to disrupt the Conversation Space. Are you ready for Shout? Are you ready to Join The Conversation? → Read More
Lara Croft's Real Superpower (It's Her Neck)
The poster for the new Tomb Raider movie looks totally hype. It may well be the redemption of all video game movies. What's the secret? Alicia Vickander's amazing taffy neck. → Read More
Why Every Alien (Even E.T.) Wants To Eat Humans
Elliot's pretty lucky that E.T. was an idiot only interested in getting hammered, because he definitely would've spent the rest of his life slowly being devoured. And then healed. And then devoured. And so on and so forth, in a horrifying cycle. → Read More
The Real Reason We Should Care About Mar-A-Lago
Frederick Douglas is still alive? The Panama Canal was built 100 years ago? President Donald Trump isn't wrong, per se, he's just getting the many timelines that exist at his Mar-a-Lago estate mixed up. Trump staffer Many Historians explains. → Read More
Why History Should Have Prepared For Us Ja Rule's Trickery
In case you're one of those people who lives their life completely inured to the tragedies that occur around the world every single day, the Fyre Festival was a destination music festival in the Bahamas for extremely wealthy people to gather en masse and enjoy live music by the likes of Blink-182 and Major Lazer for an entire weekend. The historic event was organized by Ja Rule, which was the… → Read More
Thank God For An R-Rated Venom (We'll Finally Get The D)
So a new movie starring Spider-Man villain The Venom has been officially announced, and Sony has assured us that it's going to be rated R. And I, for one, am delighted. I've been a fan of Marvel Comics' The Venom character since I was a little German boy clipping grass for nickels to buy comic books, and there's one thing that has consistently frustrated me with every adaptation of the… → Read More
6 Unspoken Rules Every Horror Movie Monster Always Follows
To help illustrate this journey, let's create our very own horror movie slasher. And by that, I mean I will create this character on my own with absolutely no input from any of you. → Read More
7 Things You Learn As A Cop Pretending To Be A Hooker
We recently had a chance to sit down with a pair of police officers -- John and Jane -- who carried out sting operations against street-level prostitutes in a large American city. Here's what we learned. → Read More
10 Psychotic Old Ads That Basically Sold Child Abuse
Holy moly things were super duper insane back then. → Read More
6 Pro Wrestlers Who Went Crazier Outside The Ring Than In It
These were reported by witnesses who may or may not be full of shit. All we can do is dutifully pass them along, as they are amazing. → Read More
15 Ways Sex Is Misunderstood By Kids
Kids are so dumb. Well, to be fair, there are probably some fully-grown adults who aren't familiar with all the intricacies of sex and/or don't know how to do a proper Google search. We asked our readers to use the power of image manipulation to show us what these groups of people are probably thinking when they hear some common sexual terms. The winner is below, but first the runners-up ... → Read More
10 Cracked Posts Everyone Went Nuts Over Last Week
Things are very much not what they seem. → Read More
The 6 Most Ridiculous Board Game Adaptations Of Movies
The results of combining the two were some deeply weird licensed board games that are probably still populating the backs of closets everywhere. → Read More
27 Ridiculous Lies That Fooled Absolutely Everyone
A fool and their dignity are easily parted. And we have a feeling that a lot of people spent a lot of time searching for their dignity after falling for these laughably obvious hoaxes we teamed up with image warlock AuntieMeme to bring you. So just let these as a PSA: People will always be out there looking to pull a fast one on the idiotic masses. Don't be one of those idiots. → Read More
If Companies Told Customers What They Really Thought Of Us
Everybody has a breaking point. And while most quietly rage and conjure up heroic revenge fantasies while they shower, some people just let loose because they are simply out of fucks to give. Which got us wondering: How would big companies respond when they've finally had enough? We asked our readers to use the power of image manipulation to show us and gave money for the best entry ... → Read More
We're All On Speed: 6 Insane Reasons Pro Gamers Retire At 26
There's a lot more to pro gaming than rolling out of bed at the crack of noon to do battle with racist teenagers using the power of the Internet. → Read More
8 Famous People That History Got Almost Exactly Wrong
We have a tendency to turn real human beings into heroes, villains, and crude stereotypes. The truth, however, is always more complicated. → Read More
6 Inventions You Didn't Realize Have Celebrity Origins
A lot of inventors end up flying under the radar do to human ignorance. These folks? We're only ignorant to the fact they could've been so innovative. → Read More
The 18 Most Ridiculous Things Worth Ridiculous Money
Before throwing any of your weird junk a way, it helps to turn to the Internet to see if any obsessive collectors will buy it from you first. → Read More
5 Realities In One Of History's Most Violent Countries
It turns out South Africa today has nothing on South Africa of the '90s. → Read More