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Past articles by Back:

Lazar Markovic's references didn’t actually mention football, Fulham realise

Claudio Ranieri just presumed his new signing was good at football, Back of the Net can reveal → Read More

Impatient Hudson-Odoi keeps asking to play football, Chelsea complain

The teenage winger clearly has an attitude problem, Back of the Net reports → Read More

Pochettino unable to see Janssen at all, worried players report

Tottenham boss seems to have condition called ‘Janssen blindness’, Back of the Net reports → Read More

Tottenham ready to bid for the pieces of Giuseppe Rossi, Pochettino confirms

Argentine itching to get stuck into the fixer-upper striker at home, Back of the Net reports → Read More

Nobody at Stoke can remember signing 'Marcel Bielson'

A new face at training has Potters players perplexed, Back of the Net reports → Read More

Judge me in 2040, demands Emery

Gunners boss tells fans to hold fire for 22 years, Back of the Net reveal → Read More

Liverpool fans should not be approached, public warned

Reds could be ‘dangerously smug’, Back of the Net reports → Read More

UEFA Nations League is brilliant, everyone suddenly realises

Nations League is actually most prestigious tournament in the world, Back of the Net report → Read More

Pogba to begin penalty run-up this afternoon, Manchester United confirm

The Frenchman is looking to save everyone some time, Back of the Net reports → Read More

Absolutely no problem with Scottish morale insists weeping, forlorn McLeish

The Scotland manager failed to put a brave face on when discussing recent results, Back of the Net reports → Read More

Only world’s greatest minds can understand Nations League, UEFA confirms

The new UEFA competition is so complex that it requires years of study to gain a basic understanding, Back of the Net reports → Read More

Roy Hodgson only interested in total revenge on Harry the Hornet

The Crystal Palace boss plotting to stir up the hornet’s nest, Back of the Net reports → Read More

Conte defends Chelsea’s decision to take winter break this year

The Italian tactician insists his side are ahead of their time, Back of the Net reveals → Read More

BOTN Classic: Seagulls 'optimistic' over sardine chances

Our resident chuckle squad remember Eric Cantona’s legendary fan-assaulting, seabird-citing antics → Read More

Arsenal offend Aubameyang by discussing very personal terms

Gunners officials have been much too forward for the Gabon international’s taste, Back of the Net can reveal → Read More

Giggs dazzles Welsh FA with presumed credentials

The former Manchester United man’s imaginary coaching abilities made him the standout candidate, Back of the Net can reveal → Read More

Stoke players determined to get relegated anyway

Mark Hughes goes but players vow to continue his legacy, report Back of the Net → Read More