Ana Valens
PRIDE
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Past articles by Ana:
29 Mistakes First-Time Bottoms Make
Bottoming is fun, but no one is an expert on their first time! → Read More
29 Mistakes First-Time Tops Make
No one becomes an expert on their first try. → Read More
I Am OBSESSED With This Bridget Plushie and Buying It Immediately
Bridget from Guilty Gear is a personal hero. She's also going to make a fantastic plushie, which is now available for pre-order. → Read More
16 Ways To Woo A Guy On Your First Date
The cutest man on Earth has come into your radar. The conversation is perfect and you’ve set up your first official date. But what if the first impression dwindles fast? What if it never goes anywhere? Hang on, take a breath, and take a beat. Here are sixteen suggestions to woo your man on your fir → Read More
Okay but Will ‘Hogwarts Legacy’ Let You Take a Dump on the Floor?
Will Hogwarts Legacy answer the age old question about magical bowel movements? We dug into the lore to find out. → Read More
13 Kinds Of Tops & How To Spot Them
Are you an aggressive top or a gentle dom? Find out. → Read More
Oklahoma's New Anti-Trans Bill Would Have Banned Me From Transitioning as an Adult
The GOP isn't just targeting trans teens anymore. Trans adults' access to trans healthcare is now on the chopping block. → Read More
My Favorite Steam Game of 2022 Is Also the Perfect Xmas Gift
This one indie roguelite survival game is just as fun as Vampire Survivors. It's also very affordable, making it a fantastic Xmas gift. → Read More
18 Common Phrases That Sound Dirty But Aren't
Don't clutch your pearls over these perfectly innocent idioms — even if they do sound kinda lewd. → Read More
Twitter’s Latest Policy Change Just Landed a Major Blow to Sex Workers
Elon Musk has taken another step against free speech. And this policy could come at enormous cost to adult creators depending on how it's implemented. → Read More
A GOP Congressman’s New Bill is Trying to Get Porn Pulled From the Internet
IODA would codify the Miller test into law and essentially ban pornography across the internet, watchdogs warn. Here's how. → Read More
Behold, I Have Created the World’s First Trump Cards Tarot Divination System
Donald Trump's collectible NFT trading cards, or Trump Cards, are ridiculous. But are they ridiculous enough to become a Tarot deck? Yes. → Read More
Thank You, Valorant, For Making Killjoy and Raze Smooch
Killjoy and Raze, Valorant's two technology experts, are in a canon queer relationship. Riot Games confirmed the ship via the two kissing. → Read More
I, a Humble Pagan, Am Over the Moon for ‘Hades II.’ Here’s Why.
Hades II promises a rich, nuanced understanding of the gods, just like the original Hades. As a pagan, Ana Valens says: Yes! Bring it on! → Read More
This TikTok Shows a Gamer Boy’s Kinky Post-Loss Cope—And It’s Read Me to Filth
What does your average Valorant player do after losing all their matches? Pull up the yandere ASMR YouTube video, according to this hilarious TikTok. → Read More
How to Date a Girl: 12 Ways to Woo Your First Date
No need to be nervous about your first date. Just be yourself! → Read More
The Best Part of Anime NYC? My Favorite Game Was There
A game with a growing fandom had a mini appearance in Anime NYC's artist alley. It may not be anime, but it signals greater things to come. → Read More
My God, There’s a Horny ‘Vampire Survivors’ Game Now?
Ever thought Vampire Survivors wasn't horny enough? Good news: This NSFW clone on Steam has solved that exact problem. → Read More
My New Favorite Browser Extension Gives Elon’s Pointless Twitter Badge the Makeover It Deserves
Tired of all these new verified users? A new browser extension replaces Twitter Blue's verified checkmark with a hilarious emoji edit. → Read More
[NSFW] Why is There a ‘Sex Chess’ Game?
Just in time for No Nut November, upcoming Steam game Sex Chess is finally introducing sex into chess. Here's a look at what you can expect. → Read More