Dave Barry, The Miami Herald

Dave Barry

The Miami Herald

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Recent:
  • Unknown
Past:
  • The Miami Herald
  • Big Think

Past articles by Dave:

Dave Barry: Democrats arrive and Miami’s climate changes. It’s policy pollution!

It wouldn’t be a presidential election campaign without Dave Barry’s perspective. After the Democrats’ Miami primary debate, he has his own analysis of candidates, their policies and what it means for Florida. → Read More

Classic ’99: How I was laid low in the red-light district

Here, as promised last week, is the second and final part of my report on the fact-finding mission I took to the Netherlands this summer to increase international understanding, a cause that as the great humanitarian Florence Nightingale so often pointed out as she toiled among the sick and wounded-is tax-deductible if you write about it. → Read More

Classic ’96: Great American turkeys

Thanksgiving is a time of traditions, and there is no tradition more meaningful than the annual U.S. Department of Agriculture warning about fatal food-dwelling bacteria. → Read More

Classic '98: The truth will set you free

I am getting sick and tired of listening to you members of the public carping about the news media. Every time I turn on the TV or radio, they're interviewing some Typical Heartland Americans -- five or six hard-working, salt-of-the-Earth agricultural guys wearing bib overalls and baseball-style caps imprinted with the brand name of a pesticide, drinking coffee in a diner in some… → Read More

Classic '98: Look before you eat

I have received some important information via a letter from Claire Nordstrum, 13, a student in Wisconsin (state motto: "Moo"). Claire states that her science teacher told the class that "it's a proven fact that on average a person eats six spiders in a year." Another science fact this teacher revealed, according to Claire, is that "wood ticks breathe through their butts." → Read More

Classic '98: Manatee heaven

As a nature-lover, I enjoy seeing animals in their native wilderness habitat, provided that it is within 20 yards of plumbing and fast food. So recently I journeyed into the heart of the city of Miami (proud motto: ``No Top Elected Officials Indicted So Far This Week'') to see the wild manatees. → Read More

Classic '98: Going ballistic

Every now and then somebody thinks up a new idea that is so totally revolutionary that it just totally revolutionizes everything. → Read More

Classic '98: The great bat dung war

It's time for Vacation Travel Tips, the feature whose motto is: ``Don't let your summer vacation fun be spoiled by a grenade attack!'' → Read More

Classic '98: The ultimate threat

If you asked me to name the three scariest threats facing the human race, I'd give the same answer that most people would: nuclear war, global warming and Windows. So I was happy to learn that the federal government has decided to protect me from Microsoft. → Read More

Classic '98: PSSST! Great investment advice!

Let's talk about how you can get rich investing in Beanie Babies. → Read More

Classic '98: Sofa Soccer

Perhaps you've been watching World Cup soccer on TV, and you're tempted to get up off the sofa and try the game yourself. Allow me, as a big believer in the benefits of exercise, to offer you these words of encouragement: Get back on the sofa. → Read More

Classic '98: One nation, full of lard

Today I have an extremely important topic to discuss with you, but before I decide what it is, I need to "set the record straight" on something: In a recent column, I made a statement that turned out to be inaccurate. Yes. Although the error was corrected by a few alert editors, many newspapers, tragically, did not catch it. → Read More

Classic '98: A big waste

Today's topic, in our popular ``Practical Homeowner'' series, is: Dealing With Common Plumbing Problems → Read More

Classic '98: Funny money

Recently I received a press release from the U.S. Treasury Department. Naturally my first move was to verify, via chemical analysis, that it was genuine. → Read More

Classic '98: What, me worry?

Where is the American economy headed? Should we be nervous? Will the Stock Market crash? Will we lose our jobs and our life savings and our homes? Will we ultimately have to ward off starvation by eating our household pets? → Read More

Classic '98: College bound

My son is a senior in high school, which means that pretty soon he, like millions of other seniors, will have to make a crucial decision, the consequences of which will remain with him for the rest of his life: Who will be his prom date. Also, at some point he'll probably select a college. → Read More

Dave Barry: My heart aches for Capital Gazette shooting victims

Dave Barry: Five newspaper people were killed yesterday at the Capital Gazette in Annapolis, Maryland. I met one of the victims, Rob Hiaasen, a few times; he was the brother of my close friend Carl. My heart aches for his family, for all the families. → Read More

Who named these guys wise men?

This Dave Barry column was originally published Sunday, December 5, 2004 → Read More

Dave Barry: A soccer dad appreciation for Father's Day

This Father’s Day, humorist Dave Barry sings the praises of soccer dads everywhere and delights that his daughter Sophie, now 18, has grown into a confident young woman. → Read More

Dave Barry: A soccer dad appreciation for Father's Day

This Father’s Day, humorist Dave Barry sings the praises of soccer dads everywhere and delights that his daughter Sophie, now 18, has grown into a confident young woman. → Read More