Gabe Fernandez
VICE
New York, United States
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Past articles by Gabe:
The Story of a Baltimore Panhandler Murdering a Woman Made National News. The Truth Didn't
Baltimore's most powerful institutions put a bizarre story to use for their purposes, shedding light on who counts in the city, and why. → Read More
Someone Should Put The Warriors In Rice
After the Clippers beat the brakes off the Warriors on Friday, coach Steve Kerr offered the following foreboding quote to reporters about what his team should expect for the remainder of the season: → Read More
The Refs Screwed The Bucs Over By Making Them Rely On Jameis Winston
The Tampa Bay Buccaneers were given a lifeline late in their game against the Tennessee Titans on Sunday. On a 4th-and-2, it certainly appeared as though the Titans were lining up to kick the field goal and extend their lead to 30-23. However, when the ball was snapped to Brett Kern he picked it up and tried to run for the first down, in the hopes that the trick play would catch Tampa Bay off… → Read More
The Bucs Just Can't Get Out Of Their Own Way
Tampa Bay’s offense is at its worst whenever Mike Evans doesn’t have the ball. Case in point is this 3rd-and-goal play with the offense just four yards from the end zone. What should have been a simple hand off to running back Dare Ogunbowale turned into a comedy of errors as Breshad Perriman jacked up his teammate while motioning to the other side of the field. → Read More
Bow Down Before The Mighty Devin Booker And His Unstoppable Phoenix Suns
I don’t want to alarm you, but you should begin to prepare for a world where the Phoenix Suns are NBA champions. It’s the only logical conclusion one could come to after one of the league’s sorriest franchises beat the Clippers on Saturday, 130-122, without their starting center (Deandre Ayton) or point guard (Ricky Rubio), and on the second night of a back-to-back where the previous evening’s… → Read More
Florida State Deploys Some Form Of Witchcraft To Save Broken Trick Play
One of the clearest signs that a trick play is going to shit is when the players involved in said trickery start to look frantic in their movements. This is exactly where Syracuse had Florida State with about three-and-a-half minutes left in the first half on Saturday. → Read More
Oklahoma's Playoff Chances Might Have Just Died Because Of A Couple Frames Of Video
Let’s get the obvious out of the way now: Kansas State’s performance on Saturday against No. 5 Oklahoma was, for all intents and purposes, deserving of a victory. But that’s what makes exactly how the 48-41 win was sealed all the more frustrating. → Read More
Christian Pulisic Finally Scored His First Premier League Goal
American superstar Christian Pulisic made the most of his position in Chelsea’s starting lineup against Burnley on Saturday. A little over 20 minutes into the match, the wunderkind found himself on a breakaway with just on defender to his side. After slowing down to allow another Burnley defender to catch up and make the angle necessary for a goal that much more difficult, Pulisic slotted his… → Read More
Did Stephen Jackson Confirm Tony Parker's Infidelity With Brent Barry's Ex-Wife?
Former NBA players Stephen Jackson and Matt Barnes are the latest athletes to join the ridiculously oversaturated world of podcasting—don’t forget to subscribe to ours, by the way—with a show called “All the Smoke.” The focus, as outlined in this interview with CBS Sports, is for the two hosts to have an unfiltered platform to talk shit about whatever, or whoever, they want. As this clip shows,… → Read More
Obese Cat Hates Exercising As Much As You Do
This absolute unit of a cat is Cinderblock, an obese feline who was surrendered to a veterinary hospital in Bellington, Wash. sometime this past week so that she could be properly treated for her, uhh, weight problem. Cinderblock started making viral rounds online when Northshore Veterinary Hospital posted a video of her being rather displeased at the fact that she had to move her legs. → Read More
Nats Send Big Wet President To World Series After Failing To Send Runners Home
In the 1976 film Freaky Friday, a mother and daughter learn to forgive one another after a Friday the 13th spell forces the two to switch bodies for a day and experience the other’s life. The lesson at the end is that one of the best ways to resolve conflicts is by seeing the world through another person’s perspective. Unfortunately, this case of swapped identity doesn’t always result in a… → Read More
Adam Silver Says Issues Between US And China Have "Absolutely Nothing To Do With The NBA"
At the beginning of Inside the NBA on Thursday, Ernie Johnson, Kenny Smith and Charles Barkley sat with commissioner Adam Silver just a couple days after the crew tackled the league’s China debacle for the first time this season. As a quick note for context about this segment’s somber tone and pacing, the crew spent the first couple minutes of the show discussing the death of Shaq’s sister, and… → Read More
Nate Diaz Pulls Out Of UFC Event, Claims "Your All On Steroids Not Me"
The battle for the Baddest Motherfucker in the Game will not be happening at UFC 244, as Nate Diaz has pulled out of the event. The 34-year-old welterweight provided a strange explanation for his withdrawal from the fight against Jorge Masvidal on Twitter, which included a claim that UFC asked him to keep the results of a drug test quiet. → Read More
Astros Fire Brandon Taubman, Now Need To Fire Whoever Smeared Stephanie Apstein
The Houston Astros have fired assistant GM Brandon Taubman for conduct that “does not reflect the values” of the organization, according to a team statement released on Thursday. → Read More
Khalil Mack Didn't Want To Talk To Anyone After The Raiders' O-Line Kicked His Ass
For those who revel in the schadenfreude that the failures of Jon Gruden tend to provide, Sunday’s Bears-Raiders game was a big moment as it was the first time Khalil Mack would face off against his former team. Yet the narrative of the Mack trade constantly blowing up in Gruden’s face had to be put on hold, as the Oakland offensive line did an excellent job making one of the league’s best… → Read More
Bills Fan Remains Alarmingly Still After Pregame Stunt Goes Very Wrong
Bills Mafia made its way to Nashville on Sunday for their beloved Buffalo team’s game against the Tennessee Titans. Along with a plethora of alcohol, and well-worn Jim Kelly jerseys, the visiting fans also brought with them their desire to do the wildest shit possible during their tailgates. Here, this Bills fan stuck to the tried and true path of risking bodily harm for the sake of breaking a… → Read More
Marlon Humphrey's Fist Helps Ravens Escape Pittsburgh With A Win
Sunday’s edition of the Ravens-Steelers rivalry wasn’t exactly what people would call a “classic,” or “all that watchable.” As overtime approached, I personally wished for the sweet release of death to arrive before the end of the game did. Fortunately, it did not so I was able to witness Marlon Humphrey—the only player on the Ravens’ defense really worth a damn—become a hero. → Read More
Well This Was Predictable
Right on cue, the quarterback that Jets coach Adam Gase only let have one full practice with the first team has already committed a laughable mistake. New York decided to go for it on a 4th-and-1 in the first quarter, but rather than running it with one of the league’s best running backs, the team decided to overcomplicate things and run a bootleg to the right. Falk stared down his target,… → Read More
Adam Gase Waited Until The Last Day Of Practice To Give Luke Falk First-Team Reps
Behold the coaching genius of Adam Gase, who was so confident that Sam Darnold would recover from mononucleosis at a rate faster than most doctors would recommend—and not say something like “I want to make sure that I’m safe out there and I’m not going to die”—that he just flat out ignored the actually healthy Luke Falk and didn’t give him any first-team reps in practice until Friday. But don’t… → Read More
Oregon Ducks Player Tackles Idiot On The Field
During a timeout late in the third quarter Saturday, Oregon Ducks running back Cyrus Habibi-Likio had to act as a security guard for his team’s home stadium. An idiot had made his way onto the field and was casually jogging his way around, only speeding up to get away from stadium staff and police. Habibi-Likio decided to act on his own accord and sprint towards the invader as his back was… → Read More