Erin O'Regan, Portland Mercury

Erin O'Regan

Portland Mercury

Portland, OR, United States

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Past articles by Erin:

Portland Thorns Recap: Thorns Snuff Red Stars 3-0!

The Portland Thorns SINGED the Chicago Red Stars 3-0 Sunday at Providence Park! SUNDAY FUNDAY OOOH-LA-LA! This was the third time the Thorns faced off against the Red Stars in 2019. The first meeting ended with a 4-4 draw in Chicago in April—the best game of the season in my Aperol spritz-drenched opinion. The second meeting resulted with a big fat funky 3-0 win here in Portland in June. And… → Read More

Portland Thorns Thrash the Houston Dash, 5-0

The Portland Thorns PUMPED UP THE HUMP DAY with a 5-0 win over the Houston Dash on Wednesday night at Providence Park! FAN KICKS AND BABY CHICKS! IT WAS A BANGER OF A MATCH! A whooping, record-breaking 22,329 fans witnessed the most wonderful ass-kicking of the summer. The weather was perfect and we finally got to give our 2019 Women’s World Cup champions a heros' welcome! The stage was set for… → Read More

Recap: US Women's National Team Defeats France in World Cup QuarterfInal!

The US Women’s National Team defeated France 2-1 for a quarterfinal thriller in the Women’s World Cup on Friday! SEE YOU IN THE SEMI-FINALS SUCKERS! The match was totally sold out and one of the most highly anticipated matches in Women’s World Cup history. Tickets in the rafters of the Parc des Princes Stadium in Paris were selling for about $180 a seat and on Thursday seats were going for up to… → Read More

Portland Thorns Preview: The Thorns are Home! The Thorns are Home!

Guess what, Thin Lizzy? THE THORNS ARE BACK IN TOWN—this Sunday, June 2! That’s right, you heard me, our Portland Thorns will take on the Chicago Red Stars at Providence Park at 3 pm on Sunday. BETTER GET YOURSELF A CORSAGE, KIDDO, WE GOT OURSELVES A HOMECOMING! IT'S BEEN TOO LONGThe Thorns haven't played in Providence Park since the 2018 Championship match against the North Carolina Courage (I… → Read More

Thorns Smother Reign 2-1; Head to Championship!

The Portland Thorns SMOTHERED The Seattle Reign 2-1 on Saturday solidifying their spot in the 2018 final! SNAPKICKS AND CHOPSTICKS! THE THORNS HAVE DONE IT AGAIN! DIDN’T WE ALREADY DO THIS?If you are thinking, “Hey wait a minute, didn’t the Thorns just BEAT THE REIGN last week or something?” YOU ARE CORRECT! The Thorns did defeat Seattle in their last regular season match here in Portland on… → Read More

Portland Thorns Smash the Dash, 3-1

The Portland Thorns decisively defeated the Houston Dash 3-1 late Sunday night at Providence Park. GET YOURSELF SOME BUTTER, THE THORNS ARE ON A ROLL! This win seats Portland in the league's fifth spot with 26 points, just trailing the Chicago Red Stars (4th place) and Orlando Pride (3rd place) who both have 28. The playoff race is a tight one this year and the Thorns have some winning to do in… → Read More

Thorns Destroy Royals 4-0!!

The Thorns obliterated the Utah Royals 4-0 on Friday night at Providence Park. FINALLY, A WIN WE CAN BACKFLIP OFF OF! This was the fire and fury fans have been wanting to see all season. All pistons firing at once. Magical ambition, skill, and energy converging to fill the sky with a fervid red fog. BLOW DRYERS IN BATHTUBS—IT WAS ELECTRIC! WHAT. A. GAME.From start to finish and top to bottom,… → Read More

Thorns Return to Providence Park Wednesday!

WEDNESDAY NIGHT RADNESS What are you doing? Riding your bike naked? Lying in the sun and drinking on a patio? Well, throw on some pants and get some tickets, because... THE THORNS ARE BACK HOME ON WEDNESDAY! It's been a while since I’ve written a bla-bla-blog for you, but it’s not because my fanship for the best soccer team in the universe has diminished, decreased, or declined. I’M STILL HEAD… → Read More

Thorns Plummet to Pride, 2-1

The Portland Thorns lost a second consecutive home match 2-1 to the Orlando Pride on Saturday. FISH STICKS AND DOUBLE CLICKS—LOSING ISN’T FUN! This was the first time the Orlando Pride have defeated the Thorns in franchise history. FISTS THROUGH SHEETROCK! HOW DID THIS HAPPEN IN OUR OWN HOUSE!? Saturday was a stunningly beautiful day in the Rose City and over 17 thousand fans showed up to cheer… → Read More

Thorns Win Home Opener 2-1

The Portland Thorns DEFEATED the Orlando Pride 2-1 in their first home match of the 2018 season. HOT TAMALES AND FAST KARATE! Finally, finally FINALLY, the Thorns had their first home match. This was the Thorns third game of the 2018 season and their second win. Now I’d enjoy watching the Thorns play just about anywhere, but nothing beats getting a big fat WIN in your own house. And even though… → Read More

Portland Thorns Preseason News: The Good and the Goodbyes

Hi, extra cuties! How is Soccer City USA doing? Did you miss me? No? That’s okay. The last time I wrote, I was in a hysterical spin of championship bliss when the Portland Thorns clenched the 2017 championship against the North Carolina Courage. ENDLESS WINDMILL TAP DANCE FINALE WITH QUESTIONABLE PYROTECHNICS! Since then I have oscillated between bliss and frantic anxiety about the general state… → Read More

Meet Your 2017 NWSL Champions: THE THORNS

For the second time in league history, the Portland Thorns are the National Women’s Soccer League Champions! GLITTER CANNONS TO THE FACE! THE LADIES IN RED MADE IT HAPPEN! The Thorns defeated the North Carolina Courage 1-0 in a scrappy tappy final matchy on Saturday in luxurious and sweltering Orlando Florida. THORNADO WARNING Look, this wasn't the prettiest game to watch. It was scrappy, rough,… → Read More

Thorns Pummel Pride 4-1; Head to NWSL Finals!

The Portland Thorns completely and convincingly pummeled the Orlando Pride 4-1 in a semifinal matchup at Providence Park on Saturday. ROCK SQUATS AND GARLIC KNOTS! THEY REALLY DID IT! THIS GAME WAS UNREAL!In true 2017 Thorns style, the first goal came early when Portland midfielder Amandine Henry applied a slight and precise touch to Meghan Klingenberg’s service to the goal. Sure, the Statue of… → Read More

Thorns Rattle Red Stars 3-1

The only thing hotter than the Portland Thorns this week was the Gorge! The Thorns RAZZLED, DAZZLED AND FRAZZLED the Chicago Red Stars on Saturday with a 3-1 win. BOB FOSSE WOULD HAVE BEEN PROUD! This was the last regular season game for the Thorns and boy-oh-boy did the team send the 2017 regular season out with a sassy brassy BANG. It had been three weeks of tough fought games in Orlando,… → Read More

Thorns Shatter Seattle Reign 2-1

For the first time since 2013, the Portland Thorns defeated the Seattle Reign 2-1 in Seattle. BACK FLIPS AND OVEN MITTS! There's something so delicious about Portland beating Seattle in their lackluster, less than impressive, cement structure they call home (Memorial Stadium) TAKE THAT FRASIER! TWO INTENSE HALVES There were ZERO goals scored in the first half of the match, but both teams had… → Read More

Thorns Devour Houston Dash, 2-0

The Thorns shut down the Houston Dash 2-0 Saturday in front of a whopping 19,672 fans at Providence Park. INVERTED SCISSOR KICKS AND ROUNDOFF BACKFLIPS! The stadium was absolutely electrified during the match. Thorns fans weren't just into it, they were full blown “Let’s get a Thorns face tattoo after the game!” into it. And I was one of them. I would have happily gotten “Raso” tattooed on my… → Read More

Portland Thorns Dupe Houston Dash, 2-1!

Everything’s coming up roses! The Portland Thorns cinched another win on Saturday when they crushed the Houston Dash 2-1. RECKLESS WINDMILLS IN SMALL PUBLIC SPACES! TOO HOT TO HANDLEThe game was originally scheduled for 12:30 pm, but due to the fact that it was hotter than the back of Hades’ knees, the league thought it best if the game started a little earlier. FINE, I WILL RESCHEDULE BRUNCH.… → Read More

Thorns Flex and the Courage Fall 1-0

In stone-cold stunning fashion, the Portland Thorns defeated the North Carolina Courage 1-0 on Saturday at Providence Park. KARATE KICK BALL CHANGE!Over 16 thousand fans came out to watch the Thorns POP, BLOCK, ROCK, and STOPthe number one ranked team in the league. How did they do it? Was it magic? Sorry, Severus Snape, your potions are no good here. SLYTHERIN ACCESS DENIED! Was there… → Read More

Recap: Thorns Bake Boston's Beans 2-0

With two quick goals, the Thorns defeated the Boston Breakers Saturday giving fans the win they’ve been waiting for. Finally, not just a win, but a powerful and commanding victory! LEVITATE AND PUNCH! HOPE YOU WEREN'T LATESome fans learned the importance of being on time on Saturday as the only two points were scored within the first five minutes of the match. Couldn’t get that $9 beer fast… → Read More

The Thorns Are Back; Win Free Tix to This Saturday's Game!

Slather on some sunscreen and tighten those scarves! After two weeks of playing in some other substandard semi soccer town, the Portland Thorns will take on the Boston Breakers this Saturday at your very own Providence Park. MY FACE IS SO HAPPY MY EYES COULD SHOOT LASERS! Want to win two tickets to this Saturday's game? Fill out the widget thingy below by 5 pm today to win two tickets to the… → Read More