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I think that it’s possible, that when the history of this stupid time we currently live in is written, that the pivotal moment will be … when we decided to bring M&M’s into the culture war. If … → Read More
A little over 1% of all deaths in America are auto-related. Translation: Over the course of your lifetime, you have a 1% chance of dying in a car accident. → Read More
In Iran — you know, the Islamic Republic of Iran — abortion of a four-month fetus is allowable if there is a risk of life or risk of health to the mother, or if the fetus is impaired. N… → Read More
I have written about cannabis — you know, marijuana, weed, grass, reefer, pot, Mary Jane, ganja, bud, dope — more times than I care to count over the years. Fact is, I used to smoke mar… → Read More
My fellow Americans (who aren’t mouth-breathing morons who are aligned with either the extreme far-right or the extreme far-left, or, if you prefer, the extreme far-left or the extreme far-right): … → Read More
I’m doing something I’ve rarely done in all my time here: I’m taking vacation this time of year and actually stepping away from the column for two weeks. I usually write ahead, but right now, at th… → Read More
Leave it to Chris Christie — ‘memba him? — to, in one interview, make me both furious at his moronic take and then, moments later, have me shaking my head up and down and saying “yep.” … → Read More
There has always been a lot of discussion in journalism circles about making sure to give both sides of a story a fair shake. You know, to be objective. This has been the way modern journalism work… → Read More
Attention all you “Don’t Tread On Me” types, all you Ayn Rand devotees, all you Ronald Reagan-quoting believers in the government sticking their nose out of your business ("The nine → Read More
Go buy an American flag right now and put it up in front of your house. It’s time to take America back from the crazies. → Read More
If you thought COVID-19 wasn’t biblical enough, have I got news for you: The locusts are coming. → Read More
It was a combination of weather, spring springing, and the fact the second shot of the Moderna vaccine was coursing through my veins, but I’ll tell you what: Last Sunday → Read More
Well, the pandemic portion of the program is coming to and end - thankfully - and so I think it’s finally safe to release my Top 20 Coronavirus Phrases I → Read More
1,2,3,4! The highway’s jammed with drunken heroes, on a last chance power drive. → Read More
Welcome to COVID’s (hopefully) last stand, and it will be playing out in the classrooms - virtual or otherwise - of New Jersey’s schools. → Read More
All right, here we go, the annual predictions columns. Let’s not waste any space. → Read More
As if I needed another reason to hate the Yankees. → Read More
I’m going to keep this “Week’s Worth” format up through the election, at which point I plan on going back to writing about football and sex and bourbon full-time. But → Read More
August, 1995: I had graduated college. I got a job waiting tables at the Olive Garden. I quit to drive cross country with a buddy. I got home. I had → Read More
Imagine going to your favorite burger joint and ordering the cheeseburger deluxe. You’re with all your friends, and they all order the cheeseburger deluxe as well. Eventually, the server brings → Read More