Wm. Steven Humphrey, Portland Mercury

Wm. Steven Humphrey

Portland Mercury

Portland, OR, United States

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Recent:
  • Unknown
Past:
  • Portland Mercury

Past articles by Wm.:

Good Afternoon, News: TriMet Wants Your Opinions, Alex Jones' Billion Dollar Penalty, and Stop Lying to Everyone, Portland Rich People!

The Mercury provides news and fun every single day—but your help is essential. If you believe Portland benefits from smart, local journalism and arts coverage, please consider making a small monthly contribution, because without you, there is no us. Thanks for your support! GOOD AFTERNOON, PORTLAND! And this absolutely stunning Portland October weather continues, with sunny days and highs in the… → Read More

Get Your Tickets NOW for the Sexy Return of HUMP! 2022... for One Night Only!

You are in desperate need of sexy fun... and we are more than happy help! Everybody celebrate... the 2022 edition of HUMP!—America's sweetest li'l porn fest—is returning for ONE HOT 'N' HORNY NIGHT ONLY on Wednesday, October 26! And even better... you can watch it LIVE and IN-PERSON on the big movie screen at Revolution Hall, alongside hundreds of other masked, vaxxed, happy, and sex positive… → Read More

FREE TICKETS TUESDAY: Enter to Win Tix to See Echo & The Bunnymen!

Who's ready to see some shows? Well, the Mercury is here to help with FREE TICKETS to see some of Portland's best concerts—our way of saying thanks to our great readers and spread the word about some fantastic upcoming performances! (Psst... if you want to say thanks to the Mercury, please consider making a small monthly contribution to keep us alive and kickin'!) And oh boy, do we have a great… → Read More

Don't Miss Out on the Delicious NACHO WEEK— Happening NOW!

QUERY: Do you like or LOVE nachos? ANSWER: You flippin' LOVE 'EM! So get ready to get very excited, because from HAPPENING NOW and through Sunday, July 17, the Portland Mercury celebrates the return of NACHO WEEK!That's right! For one week only, Portland's fave restaurants will be serving up specially crafted, full-sized plates of inventive, delicious nachos! And while it's not a competition,… → Read More

FREE TICKETS TUESDAY: Enter to Win Tix to See Allah-Las and Tim Heidecker!

Who's ready to see some shows? Well, the Mercury is here to help with FREE TICKETS to see some of Portland's best concerts—our way of saying thanks to our great readers and spread the word about some fantastic upcoming performances! (Psst... if you want to say thanks to the Mercury, please consider making a small monthly contribution to keep us alive and kickin'!) And oh boy, do we have some… → Read More

YOUR SUNDAY READING LIST: Oregon v Supreme Court, TriMet Trouble, and a Smaller, Weirder Pickathon

GOOD MORNING, SUNDAY! It's the perfect time to catch up on some of the great reporting and stories the Mercury churned out this week! (PRO TIP: If you despise being "the last to know," then be one of the first to know by signing up for Mercury newsletters! All the latest stories shipped directly to your email's in-box... and then... YOUR HEAD.) • How Will the End of Roe Impact… → Read More

YOUR SUNDAY READING LIST: A Queer Bonanza, Sweeping Away the Homeless, and Poopy Trivia

GOOD MORNING, SUNDAY! It's the perfect time to catch up on some of the great reporting and stories the Mercury churned out this week! (PRO TIP: If you despise being "the last to know," then be one of the first to know by signing up for Mercury newsletters! All the latest stories shipped directly to your email's in-box... and then... YOUR HEAD.) • It's the Mercury's 2022 Queer Guide: Making… → Read More

FREE TICKETS TUESDAY: Win Tickets to See The Fixx and Leo Kottke!

Who's ready to see some shows? Well, the Mercury is here to help with FREE TICKETS to see some of Portland's best concerts—our way of saying thanks to our great readers and spread the word about some fantastic upcoming performances! (Psst... if you want to say thanks to the Mercury, please consider making a small monthly contribution to keep us alive and kickin'!) And oh boy, do we have some… → Read More

FREE TICKETS TUESDAY: Win Tickets to See Slipknot and Marcus King!

Who's ready to see some shows? Well, the Mercury is here to help with FREE TICKETS to see some of Portland's best concerts—our way of saying thanks to our great readers and spread the word about some fantastic upcoming performances! (Psst... if you want to say thanks to the Mercury, please consider making a small monthly contribution to keep us alive and kickin'!) And oh boy, do we have some… → Read More

YOUR SUNDAY READING LIST: People for Portland Fails Again, Clackamas County Screw-Ups, and So Many SCANDALS

GOOD MORNING, SUNDAY! It's the perfect time to catch up on some of the great reporting and stories the Mercury churned out this week! (PRO TIP: If you despise being "the last to know," then be one of the first to know by signing up for Mercury newsletters! All the latest stories shipped directly to your email's in-box... and then... YOUR HEAD.) • Judge Agrees That People for Portland's Ballot… → Read More

YOUR SUNDAY READING LIST: Starbucks on Strike, Pro-Choice Pics, and Mutant Giant Rabbits

GOOD MORNING, SUNDAY! It's the perfect time to catch up on some of the great reporting and stories the Mercury churned out this week! (PRO TIP: If you despise being "the last to know," then be one of the first to know by signing up for Mercury newsletters! All the latest stories shipped directly to your email's in-box... and then... YOUR HEAD.) • Four Portland-Area Starbucks Stores Vote to… → Read More

Pizza Week Is Happening NOW! $3 Slices at 28 Locations? Yes, Please!

Let the bells ring and the confetti fall: PIZZA WEEK IS BACK, BAY-BEE! With mask requirements lifting, it's time to start lifting some pizza... into YOUR GORGEOUS FACE! And the best pizza pie makers in Portland are ready to strut their pizza stuff! NOW through SUNDAY April 24, the Portland Mercury's Pizza Week is making its long-awaited return, giving pizza-loving Mercury readers the chance to… → Read More

Start Your Tummy Engines: The Mercury's PIZZA WEEK is Happening NOW!

Let the bells ring and the confetti fall: PIZZA WEEK IS BACK, BAY-BEE! With mask requirements lifting, it's time to start lifting some pizza... into YOUR GORGEOUS FACE! And the best pizza pie makers in Portland are ready to strut their pizza stuff! So starting NOW until SUNDAY April 24, the Portland Mercury's Pizza Week will make its long-awaited return, giving pizza-loving Mercury readers the… → Read More

Plot Your Mercury PIZZA WEEK Journey with Our Handy Pizza Week Map!

Are you excited for the Mercury's PIZZA WEEK, starting this Monday, April 18 and running through Sunday, April 24? HELL YEAH, YOU ARE! But in order to jam as many delicious slices in your mouth in the most time efficient manner, we've developed the following must-have accessory: THE PIZZA WEEK MAP! Our map contains the exact locations for all 28 participating Pizza Week locations in the Portland… → Read More

Let's Celebrate! The Mercury's PIZZA WEEK Starts Monday, April 18! 🎉 🍕

Let the bells ring and the confetti fall: PIZZA WEEK IS BACK, BAY-BEE! With mask requirements lifting, it's time to start lifting some pizza... into YOUR GORGEOUS FACE! And the best pizza pie makers in Portland are ready to strut their pizza stuff! So starting MONDAY April 18 until SUNDAY April 24, the Portland Mercury's Pizza Week will make its long-awaited return, giving pizza-loving Mercury… → Read More

Have a Sexy Weekend... Stream the HUMP! Film Festival!

Did you miss your chance to see HUMP! at Revolution Hall or when it was streaming? Or maybe you just want to watch the magic one more time? By popular demand, we’re going to keep on streaming the 2022 HUMP! Film Festival—for every weekend through May 1! As you undoubtedly know, HUMP! is the annual film festival where sexy amateur filmmakers share their lustiest five-minute dirty movies with the… → Read More

The I, Anonymous Rant o' the Day: Get Yer Stinkin' Bikes Off Our Stinkin' Trails!

Behold: The I Anonymous column's Rant o' the Day™. In today's edition, a hiker pedestrian has some words for those bikers who bomb down pedestrian trails. Got a rant or confession of your own? Drop it off in I, Anonymous... anonymously! This is to all the asshole bicyclists who insist on riding on walking trails in our parks and natural areas. Y'all are some of the most entitled folks I've ever… → Read More

Tonight, Tonight, TONIGHT: It's the 2022 Debut of the Sex-tastic HUMP! Film Festival!

Everybody celebrate... the 2022 edition of HUMP!—America's sweetest li'l porn fest—starts TONIGHT, THURSDAY FEB 24! And even better... you can watch it LIVE and IN-PERSON on an actual, big movie screen at Revolution Hall, alongside hundreds of other masked, vaxxed, happy, and horny audience members! As you undoubtedly know, HUMP! is the annual film festival where sexy amateur filmmakers share… → Read More

Get Excited—the Sexy HUMP! Film Festival Starts This Thursday!

You are in desperate need of sexy fun... and help is on the way! Everybody celebrate... the 2022 edition of HUMP!—America's sweetest li'l porn fest—starts THIS THURSDAY (February 24)! And even better... you can watch it LIVE and IN-PERSON on an actual, big movie screen at Revolution Hall, alongside hundreds of other masked, vaxxed, happy, and horny audience members! As you undoubtedly know,… → Read More

Catch Up on the Stories You Missed This Week with the Mercury Weekend Reading List!

Whooo! You're a BUSY BEE. Look, it's completely understandable that since you've been SO busy, you may have missed some of the great reporting and stories the Mercury churned out this week! So while you're lounging about this weekend, catch up on the knowledge you need by reading some of these A+++ Mercury articles! (PRO TIP: If you despise being "the last to know," then be one of the first to… → Read More