Elly Lonon
Timothy McSweeney
Kamloops, BC, Canada
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Discover and connect with journalists and influencers around the world, save time on email research, monitor the news, and more.
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Past articles by Elly:
Social Distancing Amongst the Liberal Elite
MICHAEL: Some asshole just crashed my Zoom meeting in full Carole Baskin cosplay. I see why people are so upset with the platform, but in this era ... → Read More
Amongst the Liberal Elite: Flu Shots Amongst the Liberal Elite
ALEXANDRA: Up for a walk? MICHAEL: LIKE A SPACE WALK? Do we have the proper gear? Is that what we’re going to be for Halloween? Gently condescendin... → Read More
Amongst the Liberal Elite: Immigration Reform Amongst the Liberal Elite
MICHAEL: I need you to sign here and here. ALEXANDRA: Is this the form where I sign off on your vasectomy? No?! Of course not. Because ONLY WOMEN H... → Read More
Amongst the Liberal Elite: Self-Care Amongst the Liberal Elite
ALEXANDRA: Do you have your list of talking points ready? MICHAEL: I do. But do you ever wonder if it’s at cross purposes to list ALL the things we... → Read More
Amongst the Liberal Elite: Pledge Drives Amongst the Liberal Elite
MICHAEL: COME FREAKING ON, Alison Stewart. If you ask me for money before the pledge drive allegedly starts under the guise of making the pledge dr... → Read More
Amongst the Liberal Elite: Sex Dreams Amongst the Liberal Elite
MICHAEL: I had a sex dream about Michael Cohen last night. ALEXANDRA: You and your bad boy fetish. That dream is likely your subconscious mourning ... → Read More
Amongst the Liberal Elite: Sparking Joy Amongst the Liberal Elite
MICHAEL: Last week was one hell of a week for breaking news. Then this week started with 45 celebrating the states introducing mandatory bible lite... → Read More
Amongst the Liberal Elite: One-Word Resolutions Amongst the Liberal Elite
ALEXANDRA: There are no less than three venues within a 10-mile radius from here that offer indoor hatchet-throwing classes. And here’s a Groupon f... → Read More
Amongst the Liberal Elite: Midterm Elections Preparation Amongst the Liberal Elite
MICHAEL: Why were there two sets of boxing gloves on the kitchen island this morning? ALEXANDRA: Oh, they arrived last night. I meant to box them u... → Read More
Amongst the Liberal Elite: Rage Amongst the Liberal Elite
MICHAEL: Do you ever wonder why fresh pineapple makes your tongue burn? ALEX: Do you ever wonder if maybe an apocalyptic event wouldn’t be SO bad? ... → Read More
Amongst the Liberal Elite: Criminal Proceedings Amongst the Liberal Elite
ALEXANDRA: You know the word “testify” derives from the ancient Greek word “testis” – or testes, so it’s basically a sworn oath on one’s balls. Whi... → Read More
Amongst the Liberal Elite: Earth Day Amongst the Liberal Elite
ALEXANDRA: Now things are officially out of control. Earth Day. WE FORGOT ABOUT EARTH DAY! Last week was insanity between cannabis reform AND schoo... → Read More
Amongst the Liberal Elite: Nor’easters Amongst the Liberal Elite
MICHAEL: You know how I’ve been talking about adopting a baby goat? ALEXANDRA: By the brazen impetus that is Emma González… it was ONE CHIN WHISKER... → Read More
Amongst the Liberal Elite: Harassment Allegations Amongst the Liberal Elite
ALEXANDRA: Did you see there was more NPR fallout over the weekend? The On Point guy? MICHAEL: I’m still reeling from Leonard Lopate. That was hard... → Read More
Amongst the Liberal Elite: Holidays Amongst the Liberal Elite
ALEXANDRA: Fucking Al Franken. MICHAEL: Again? ALEXANDRA: Again. An ass grab. While he was in office. MICHAEL: Well, so much for the “Maybe he shou... → Read More
Amongst the Liberal Elite: Anniversaries Amongst the Liberal Elite
ALEXANDRA: A year. How can it already have been an entire year? MICHAEL: How can it have been only one? It feels like this presidency has been runn... → Read More
Amongst the Liberal Elite: Sports Games Amongst the Liberal Elite
MICHAEL: Shanah tovah! Or a happy New Year to you, my sweet shiksa. Let’s celebrate by dipping apples and your delectable toes in some product from... → Read More
Amongst the Liberal Elite: Home Renovation Amongst the Liberal Elite
ALEXANDRA: Welcome back! Good news! I’m almost completely over my fear of nuclear war! Now, civil war on the other hand… MICHAEL: Yay? How did you ... → Read More
Amongst the Liberal Elite: Labor Negotiations Amongst the Liberal Elite
MICHAEL: Where’s my laptop? You won’t believe what’s happening, Alex. ALEXANDRA: A new Chris-Christie-in-a-beach-chair meme? I can’t get enough of ... → Read More
Amongst the Liberal Elite: Patriotism Amongst the Liberal Elite
ALEXANDRA: Do you ever wonder if this might be our last 4th of July? MICHAEL: I am consistently amazed by the new dystopian directions that the cur... → Read More