John McElhenney
The Good Men Project
Austin, TX, United States
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Past articles by John:
Viral Dating: Finding and Keeping Love in Times of Crisis
Get creative, because it's going to take a lot more time to get close enough to look directly into her eyes from a safe distance. Good luck out there, and stay safe. → Read More
Whole Adults Dating Again: Knowing Ourselves, What We Won’t Compromise
What am I willing to give up to be WITH someone. What would "tonight" look like if there were another person waiting in the wings to spend time with me. → Read More
Marriage Story Review: Reckoning with the Blowback
The parents in Marriage Story tried. And when the mom is unable to read the things she loves about her husband, we see her hot flash of realization as she leaves the mediation without engaging in the process. → Read More
You Either Show Up 100% of the Time, Or You're Gone: Dating to Love
I believe the quest for love is a spiritual journey. Either your deliberate and intentional about it, or you are just screwing around. → Read More
Emotional Intelligence Essentials for Long-Term Relationship Success
It is perfectly normal for intimate couples to trigger one another. It's essential, actually, for growth to happen, for each partner to allow themselves to feel their emotions as deeply as possible. → Read More
Dating for Adults in an Online World
Dating is the fun part. Getting to know someone new is exhilarating. But if you're looking for a long-term partner, as I am, don't get stuck in the sexual fire before you have a chance to evaluate some of the more practical aspects of the out-of-bedroom relationship. → Read More
Five Reasons to Slow Your Roll when Dating: Sex and Dating
Live some life together, out of the bedroom, and see how the relationship part of the partnership goes. It will become obvious if there are lifestyle or emotional differences. And when you keep the raging hormones at bay you can see this person without the rose-colored glasses. → Read More
Sexual Intelligence and Dating Again After Divorce
Sexual intelligence: even as the act of sex has changed, and often orgasm is not the goal nor the end-point, the benefits of a newly rejuvenated sex drive cannot be underestimated. → Read More
Single Dad Writes to his 16-year-old Daughter About the Divorce
As I agreed to your mom's request for the divorce, I began to ask for how we were going to do things collaboratively. The biggest request I had was 50/50 custody. I was losing a huge portion of your presence in my life. I wanted it to be a fair split. → Read More
18 Signs a Single Dad Likes You: Dating Again as a Single Parent
After all, if our intention is to find a long-term relationship, taking down and deleting the online dating apps is the first step towards a victory dance. So, when you are both delighted to find the time to be together, and you are both expressing desire to find more time, you are well on your way towards establishing the trust that anchors an authentic relationship. → Read More
Am I Addicted to Touch? My Love Language in Action
Let's say your love language is touch. And then let's say you get into a relationship that is charged, heated, and extremely passionate. And so many parts of the "touch" connection are *the absolute best you've ever had* and we're talking sexual as well as non-sexual. And then as every other relationship in my life has gone, something breaks. → Read More
6 Steps of Authentic Online Dating After 40
Some of the problems with online dating is our inability to be authentic about who we are and what we are looking for. We're too busy trying to oversell ourselves and find better and cuter partners. → Read More
When Hopelessness Enters the Equation
If you’re feeling hopeless take apart the heavy rope and look at what the parts of your depression are. I can work directly on some of my issues. I can write about some of the others. → Read More
Swiping Right: The Artificial High of Online Dating Apps
When I have the immediate RIGHT SWIPE I am hopeful that the woman will swipe back and we will have an opportunity to carry on a conversation. I have no expectations that this will lead to a coffee date or a future relationship. → Read More
Single Father Manifesto: I'll Never Stop Pursuing You
I can focus on my relationship with my kids. That's all I've got. Worrying about my ex-wife or lamenting the past doesn't do much for me or my children. → Read More
The Divorce Brochure for Dads
If you are going to agree to a collaborative or cooperative divorce, there may be very little negotiation ahead. Dear Dad, Welcome to the new adventure → Read More
Questions: When You End Up Alone, Again
If I am happy alone, creating and aspiring with all the time available to me. Perhaps, I need to look for another creative person, who has similar creative impulses. I can support another artist in all her endeavors. → Read More
Empty Nest Syndrome: How a Typical Divorce Affects Fathers Differently
The sad part is my kids don't get much of me and my happiness. They get something less than joyful, most of the time. I can see it and feel it in them. → Read More
Standing Strong Together: Boundaries and Relationships in the #METOO Era
We want partners who can state their needs and aspirations clearly. Then, we can either agree, negotiate, or move on. → Read More
Wondering About Beauty, Sex, and My Pursuit of a Lasting Relationship
I have been fooled before by beauty. I have let my sexual drive determine my trajectory, even when red flags were flying from balustrade. I am determined not to repeat this misfire. → Read More