Joe Patrice
Above the Law
New York, NY, United States
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Past articles by Joe:
Formal Complaint Lodged Against Federal Judge For Handcuffing Crying 13-Year-Old Girl
Ninth Circuit announces that it's going to have a look at judges traumatizing children. → Read More
If Biglaw Were Woke... Shouldn't It Have A Better Record On Diversity?
For all the hype, the numbers aren't good. → Read More
Cruel And Unusual: Judge Sentences Defendant To Go To Law School
And five days of prison. → Read More
Judge Ho Apparently Didn't Bother To Read The Cases He Cited In Domestic Abuser Gun Opinion
Context matters! → Read More
Morning Docket: 02.03.23
* Just because the law determines that someone is a dangerous threat to others, the Fifth Circuit rules that court orders still can't take away their guns because that's a fundamental right. You know, walking around as a free person is a fundamental right too... can the justice system still put criminals in prison? * Lizzo is now officially 100 percent that bitch. [Law360] * Baker McKenzie… → Read More
CATO Institute Is 100 Percent Right About Police Brutality
Broken clocks and what have you. → Read More
Jones Day Not Representing Trump 2024 Campaign, Having Made America Great Enough On January 6
Change of heart... or just changing horses. → Read More
Happy Groundhog Day From The Attorneys
Six more weeks of billing. → Read More
Morning Docket: 02.02.23
* Law firms don't appreciate associates building their own brand through social media. Because "professional development" only flows one direction. [Legal Intelligencer] * Hunter Biden seems to have found lawyers who are aware that ripping private data off a computer is generally a crime. [Washington Post] * Real Criminal Defendants Of Beverly Hills. * Andrew Tate's got a new lawyer. He's… → Read More
Teased Law Firm Merger Fizzles
Law firms Brexit each other. → Read More
Fun Fact: You Can't Just Name Yourself After A National Law Firm And Start Doing Business
THE ONE LEGAL MARKETING HACK THEY DON’T WANT YOU TO KNOW! Because it’s probably trademark infringement. Back in September, Lewis Brisbois filed a trademark infringement suit against a bunch of folks in Texas apparently running a mediation company named *checks notes* Lewis Brisbois Bisgaard & Smith. As you likely already suspect, none of these defendants are named Lewis, Brisbois, Bisgaard,… → Read More
The Justices Are One Big, Happy Family, Says Justice No One Likes
Also, some salty law school talk. → Read More
Now THIS Is How You Bring ChatGPT Into Lawyering!
ChatGPT comes to contract management in latest Ironclad announcement. → Read More
Morning Docket: 02.01.23
* Demand for legal services dropped in 2022. Which you already knew, but now there's a report! * Look to your left, look to your right... one of these law firms won't be here next year. [Law.com] * Federal Circuit strikes down Quinn Emanuel's class action fees as "excessive." Quinn Emanuel had sought FIVE percent. [Law360] * Looks like Trump finally realized Alina Habba isn't the answer to...… → Read More
Biglaw Isn't A Cancel Culture, It's A Business That Cares More About Money Than Your Feelings
If love means never having to say you're sorry, then surely 'cancel culture' means never having to take responsibility. → Read More
As Law Firms Start Layoffs, Alternative Legal Services Providers Grow Like Gangbusters
Biglaw firms that haven't entered the ALSP market might want to get a move on. → Read More
Morning Docket: 01.31.23
* Trump sues Bob Woodward claiming copyright on all the stuff he told Woodward during interviews Trump granted for the purpose of letting Woodward write a book. This is not going in the magical "Trump keeps winning cases" bucket his lawyer talks about. [Courthouse News Service] * Johnson & Johnson tried the "Monopoly Man turns out his pockets" routine and failed. [Law360] * Hey Siri, explain… → Read More
ChatGPT Crowns Clarence Thomas As Champion Of Gay Rights In Feedback Loop Of Stupid
That's not how I remember it, but maybe this is like the whole 'Berenstein Bears' thing. → Read More
Law Professor Eager To Share All Sorts Of Awful Thoughts About Trans Folks And Racial Justice!
Not exactly stellar reasoning. → Read More
Morning Docket: 01.30.23
* Sam Bankman-Fried objects to "overbroad" bail restrictions. Bail restrictions can be onerous and harassing but these boil down to "please don't talk to possible witnesses against you or send automatically deleting communications," which seems... reasonable. Next thing you know they're going to be telling him he can't pay fines with magic beans! * When looking in the mirror in 2023, there's one… → Read More