Kara Brown, Jezebel

Kara Brown

Jezebel

Seattle, WA, United States

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Recent:
  • Unknown
Past:
  • Jezebel
  • Deadspin

Past articles by Kara:

2 Nights Partying at SUR With DJ James Kennedy

A little after 9 p.m. on a Tuesday, the man of the hour strolls into SUR. → Read More

The Craft's Rachel True Read My Tarot and Now I'm a Believer, Mostly

Everything I knew about tarot I learned from Real Housewives. That is, until I met actress and tarot reader Rachel True. Known for her roles in The Craft, Half & Half and Half Baked, Rachel transformed a youthful fascination with the esoteric and turned it into another career. Today, in addition to acting, she does tarot readers and helps, sans irony, to de-mystify the process. → Read More

I Can't Believe They Let Me Do This

Those in my life can attest to the frequent incredulousness with which I move through the world. Generally I do know why things are the way they are, but it rarely tempers my awe that the things that happen, actually happen. The details of this world still find a way to flatten me. There are women who run around gestating two entire human beings at once! Reindeer are real animals! Sandra Bullock… → Read More

Goodbye Shade Court, For Real This Time

Well folks, this is it. I now find it difficult to even remember the origins of Shade Court, though I do clearly remember, like many things in my life, it was born out of my frustration. Frustration at watching publication after publication misuse this wonderful, beautiful word and all the rudeness and arrogance it entails. I manifested my degree, clerked with none of your damn business and… → Read More

A Conversation With Nikkita Oliver, the Seattle Mayoral Candidate Whose Activism Spawned a Movement

On August 1, the city of Seattle will hold a primary election to decide the top two candidates advancing to the city’s mayoral race in November. With nearly two dozen candidates declared, the field is rather crowded—though it was made slightly less in May, so when incumbent mayor Ed Murray announced he would not be seeking reelection following reports he allegedly raped and molested a teenage… → Read More

If Ever In Doubt, Let Aretha Franklin Be Your Shade Guide

Things change and yet nothing changes, huh? Donald Trump is still president. Pete Souza still is not throwing shade. My brain hasn’t fully oozed out of my ears yet from being inundated with lies and stupidity and the truly asinine on a minute-by-minute basis. And of course, I’m here to bring to the smallest bit of justice into a world that fights me at every single damn turn. → Read More

On the Real Housewives of New York, Vermont Is For Yelling at Tinsley Mortimer

At some point, the Real Housewives of New York producers must have realized the best way to drive these women crazy is to lock them in a large luxury home, somewhere in the woods, preferably during the winter. This week, everyone packed their ridiculous boots and handles of Tito’s vodka and headed to Vermont, because if it ain’t broke... → Read More

This Week's Bachelorette Episodes Have Us Singing 'Ding Dong, the Lee Is Finally Gone'

On Monday and Tuesday nights, two women 3,000 miles apart, one deeply familiar with the franchise, the other much less so, watched Episode 5 and 6 of Rachel’s season of The Bachelorette separately. This is their story. → Read More

Shit I Bought: Gilded Kicks, a Stylish Swimsuit, and Eye Gel for Soothing Your Trump Anxiety

Welcome to Shit I Bought, a column where we recap the life-changing beauty and fashion purchases of various staffers—and also just stuff we bought on a whim. → Read More

The Tabloids Are Having a Hard Time Reporting on Beyoncé's Twins

Beyoncé’s twins are here on this earth. We know that for certain. But that’s about all we know. For anyone who cares about these kind of things, it has been fascinating to watch gossip and entertainment sites struggle to report and confirm the very little information swirling around the newest members of the Carter family, though that’s probably exactly what Beyoncé and Jay Z were banking on. → Read More

Diddy and Queen Elizabeth Have Some Shady Tendencies in Common

It is officially summer. You probably already knew that and I’m not sure what you’ll do with that information if you didn’t but I felt it needed to be said. This means we’re almost halfway through 2017 and I plan on spending the next few months preserving my strength so I can make it over the finish line. Let’s see how that goes. → Read More

Carrie Fisher Had Cocaine, Heroin, MDMA in Her System When She Died

Following news from the Los Angeles County coroner’s office that Carrie Fisher died from sleep apnea, the full autopsy report now reveals the actress had cocaine, heroin, and MDMA in her system when she went into cardiac arrest on December 23, 2016. → Read More

Let's Bask In the Father Son Joy Of DJ Khaled and Baby Asahd

On October 23rd 2016, Khaled Mohamed Khaled—also known as Dj Khaled—became a father. Khaled and his fiancée Nicole Tuck, the most patient woman on Earth, welcomed a bright-eyed baby boy named Asahd Tuck Khaled into the world and my expectations for babies will never be the same. → Read More

I Am Late, But Let's Talk About Taylor Swift Shading Katy Perry

As it turns out, the LA County courts absurdly do not recognize my judgeship and time serving this illustrious court. However, as soon as I started opening my mouth, neither the plaintiff nor the defendant wanted anything to do with me, so here we are. The scales of justice, folks! → Read More

In the Battle Between Bethenny Frankel and Ramona Singer, No One Wins

Let’s get a few things clear from the jump: Ramona Singer is a monster. Jill Zarin is a monster. Bethenny Frankel is a monster. No one alive has ever been more determined to get married in Palm Beach than the artist formerly known as The Countess, one Luann D’Agostino. → Read More

James Comey Is Not Hot

Plenty of disturbing details emerged today during former FBI Director James Comey’s testimony in front of the Senate Intelligence Committee. He confirmed that water is wet and Trump is a liar. He refused to answer whether or not Trump colluded with Russians in a manner that I’m taking as a hard yes. And we all witnessed John McCain possibly have a stroke on live television. But perhaps the most… → Read More

A Bachelorette-Inspired Poll: Would You Rather Marry a Trainer or a Chiropractor?

Seeing as how it’s Tuesday and my life is now such that my mind is still racing with thoughts from last night’s episode of The Bachelorette, I’d like to tickle everyone’s fancy with a very stupid conversation. This morning, I hit up my dear friend Kate Dries, because who else am I obligated to share my every inane thought and opinion with? Today’s conundrum centered around the ever eternal… → Read More

The Real Housewives of Orange County Is Back, and Sadly, So Is Kelly Dodd

Of the many question I’d like to ask God, one of the top ones would be: Judging by how often and the manner in which they speak to you, The Real Housewives of Orange County seem to believe that you pay them a disproportionate amount of attention. Why is that? Because if you are paying them said amount of attention, this needs to be a much longer conversation. → Read More

Who Would Have Thought a Spelling Bee Would Result in Such Incredible Shade

How is it that even during this truncated week, it still feels like the longest week ever? Oh yeah, because the leader of our country is torturing us and everyone is losing their goddamn mind. → Read More

Racist Tweets From Current Bachelorette Contestant Have Surfaced

It is 2017 and things seem to be going relatively well for The Bachelorette’s first black contestant, Rachel Lindsay. With both those things it mind, it was therefore only a matter of time before racist tweets from one of her suiters surfaced because yes, that sounds about right. → Read More