Barry Petchesky, VICE

Barry Petchesky

VICE

New York, NY, United States

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Recent:
  • Unknown
Past:
  • VICE
  • The New York Times
  • Deadspin
  • Jezebel

Past articles by Barry:

What Did We Get Stuck in Our Rectums Last Year?

America continues to lead—and to innovate. → Read More

I Was Fired From Deadspin for Refusing to ‘Stick to Sports’

Pretending that sports can take place in a vacuum would have been profoundly dishonest. → Read More

The Falcons Are Toast And Dan Quinn Is Getting Crispy On Both Sides

The Falcons are a bad football team. As such, head coach Dan Quinn is expected to not be the head coach for very much longer. But when will Quinn be fired? Now, with a depressing 1-7 record and entering the bye? After the near-inevitable loss to the rival Saints in two weeks? Painlessly and in his sleep on the morning after the regular season ends? It’s really the only drama left for this team… → Read More

I Have Watched This Lightning-Penguins Play 36 Times And I Can't Tell If It Was A Save Or A Goal

Wednesday’s game between the Cup-hopeful Lightning and the somehow-not-dead-yet Penguins came down to the final seconds, twice. Victor Hedman scored on a power-play slapper with 56.4 seconds left to give Tampa the lead, and then, with, oh, just about 0.3 seconds left, something happened on the goal line. → Read More

Patrick Corbin Was The Only Choice

Dave Martinez knew it. He knew it by the fourth, when the Astros worked Max Scherzer for 27 pitches, pushing his pitch count on the night to an unsustainable 96 through four, but also he knew it on Monday, when the Nationals manager declined to name a starting pitcher for Game 3 despite having a clear best third starter. In his press conference that afternoon, Martinez was asked the obvious… → Read More

Mikko Rantanen's Leg Did Something Legs Aren't Supposed To Do

It seems only fair to show you this before you’ve had breakfast. So: wanna see something gross? → Read More

These Photos From A Muddy 49ers-Skins Game Are So Good

San Francisco’s win in Washington may not have been good football, but it was beautiful in its way.At a rainy, sloppy Landover, the Niners slip-slid their way to a 9-0 win that was a wholesomely good time—for the winners, anyway. “It takes you back to being a kid: You’re out there, you’re sloshing around and your shoes are full of water and mud,” Richard Sherman said. “It’s still a kid’s game at… → Read More

James Neal Looks Like The Real Deal Again

It would be ludicrous and premature, after just three games, to declare that the Oilers definitely, definitely won the James Neal–for–Milan Lucic trade with the Flames. But: I declared it after zero games, so why pop that take in the freezer now? → Read More

How Is The Twins' Playoff Losing Streak Even Possible?

The last time the Minnesota Twins won a playoff game, Shannon Stewart knocked in Michael Cuddyer for the go-ahead run, Jacque Jones homered, and Johan Santana threw seven scoreless innings as the Twins beat the Yankees in Game 1 of the 2004 ALDS. The next night, Hideki Matsui singled off J.C. Romero to score Derek Jeter in the 12th inning, and that was that for the next 15 years (and counting):… → Read More

The Skins Made Jay Gruden Come To The Office At 5 A.M. To Get Fired

After an embarrassing yet expected 33-7 “home” loss to the Patriots, after which everyone already knew head coach Jay Gruden would be fired ... Washington fired him. This being the Skins, though, they did it in the most disrespectful manner imaginable. → Read More

Yes, Yes, The Hurricanes Brought Back The Storm Surge

It is not too early, nor too late to get on the Hurricanes bandwagon. Carolina, a motley crew without a true star that shocked the world with a 99-point season (and underlying numbers that said they should been significantly better than even that) and a trip to the conference final, are back with more seasoning, proven chemistry, and a chip on their shoulders to prove that last year was no… → Read More

Major Layoffs Are Coming At Sports Illustrated Today

Dozens of staffers at Sports Illustrated are expected to be laid off as early as Thursday, according to sources and published reports, and the cuts could be as deep as 50 percent of staff. → Read More

Trent Grisham Isn't Going To Forget This One For A While

Trent Grisham, welcome to October. The 22-year-old midseason call-up, who was such a big part of the Brewers’ postseason push, especially after Christian Yelich went down, learned quickly and the hard way that the reason the crowds are bigger and louder is that every play’s import is magnified, and that if you make a mistake, you can’t just go out and get ‘em back tomorrow. “You play baseball… → Read More

The Skins Are Delaying The Inevitable

Case Keenum declared that Washington’s dead-on-arrival loss to the Bears Monday night was “all on me.” That is absolutely false. Any truly great or truly awful team is just that, a team effort— it requires 53 men, plus coaches and front office and even ownership. And the Skins are a unicorn turd of a football team: a rare squad that is both terrible and bland. Bad enough to have small chance of… → Read More

Bruce Arians Has Some Strange Ideas About How To Make A Kick Easier

Giants at Bucs was a coming-out party for one Mr. Daniel Dimes, but it wouldn’t have been a win for New York if not for Buccaneers rookie kicker Matt Gay missing a 34-yard field goal attempt just barely to the right as time expired. And it wouldn’t have been 34 yards if the Bucs hadn’t intentionally taken a delay-of-game penalty. And they wouldn’t have taken a delay-of-game penalty if head coach… → Read More

Jalen Ramsey's Beef Isn't With Doug Marrone, It's With Tom Coughlin

The Jaguars’ toilet party looks a little less toilety with the rise of Gardner Minshew, but Jalen Ramsey still wants out. Ramsey played and excelled in Thursday night’s 20-7 home win over Tennessee, which was and is expected to be his last game as a Jaguar after requesting a trade following a sideline confrontation with head coach Doug Marrone last week. But Ramsey has made crystal-clear that… → Read More

CC Sabathia Is Loved

It’s been a difficult season for CC Sabathia, which he announced last winter would be his final one. He’s gone to the IL three separate times for his knee—no specific injury per se, just swelling and pain that made it impossible to pitch and necessitated time off. The Yankees knew that coming into the year, and were fine with this season being at least partially a victory lap for Sabathia. But… → Read More

The Jets' Nightmare Offseason Keeps Getting Worse

Two seasons ago, the Winnipeg Jets were a dark horse Cup contender, and then, for a brief moment, actual Cup favorites, and playing like it. It didn’t happen for them, but they returned largely the same roster the next. 2018 was a step back, with a first-round playoff exit—though to the eventual champion Blues—but I wrote that no team less needed to hit the panic button because of a down year.… → Read More

The Yankees Are Cursed

The Yankees, who spent the first week of the season getting everybody hurt, and then a few months later, did it again just to set some all-time IL records, are getting healthy. Just in time for the playoffs, but also just in time to get injured again. → Read More

The Jets Seem Like They're About Done With Trumaine Johnson

Heading into Monday night’s matchup against the Browns, the Jets had to know that the outcome would be in large part dependent on how well they could contain Odell Beckham Jr. It didn’t go great! Beckham caught six balls for 161 yards and a score in Cleveland’s 23-3 win. After the game, all the questions for head coach Adam Gase were about why he had who he had on Beckham, and he didn’t feel… → Read More