Peter Lawrence Kane
(((BrokeAssStuart)))
San Francisco, CA, United States
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Past articles by Peter:
Orbit Room Launches ‘Lunar Lot’ for Cocktails and Pizza
This year alone, we’ve learned that the moon has water, the atmosphere of Venus contains a chemical so difficult to synthesize that it almost certainly comes from organic life, and the U.S. Navy believes in UFOs now. Only in 2020 would these → Read More
Men Named Richard Who Really Shouldn't Go By Dick
There’s only one name more phallic than Peter, and that name is Dick. With the news that the 2020 Tokyo Olympics are postponing, the name Dick Pound has been trending on Twitter. He’s a member of the International Olympic Committee and former → Read More
A Bloomberg Presidency Would Be Shadow a Puppet with a Compound Fracture
Most people are entertained cause the show mostly looks like it should, but the people in front who are paying the most attention can see the bloody protruding bone, and they’re screaming. → Read More
Sí Se Puede: Let’s Rename South Van Ness Avenue for Dolores Huerta
Like a lot of other streets — Geary, Bryant, McCoppin, Bartlett — Van Ness Avenue is named for a 19th century mayor of San Francisco. James Van Ness was the seventh head of the city government, but he served for only a → Read More
Why Does the GOP Want a Second Civil War So Badly?
A decade ago, CNBC’s Rick Santelli launched the Tea Party movement with a cry of “Can you hear me now, Mr. President?” from the floor of the Chicago Mercantile Exchange. That was the era of tri-corner hats, contrived 18th-century verbiage, occasional Obama-hanging-in-effigy → Read More
California's $220 Billion Budget is Doing What Trump Refuses to Do
As recently as 2009, California was virtually broke. Facing a $24 billion deficit on a budget of approximately $100 million, the state furloughed employees, paid I.O.U.’s instead of tax refunds, and used every type of financial chicanery to move stuff around. At → Read More
Giant East Bay Ranch May Become California’s Next State Park
Bay Area legislators have been urging the governor to snap it up before someone else does. → Read More
Don’t Be a Tacky Asshole With Your WWIII Memes Just Cause Trump Sucks
Sooner or later, Northern California will experience a major earthquake. Statistically, it’s likely to be on the Hayward Fault, which means less-affluent parts of the Bay Area like Oakland and Richmond may bear the brunt of the destruction. The recovery will be → Read More
Donald Trump Is Tweeting Us into WWIII. But Is It Even Him?
“There’s always a tweet” has been the axiom of the Trump era, the definitive proof that almost any ridiculous thing the president says or does will have been preceded by an accusation that someone else was doing it. It’s as true as → Read More
Beach Blanket Babylon’s Sound Guy Says the Show Doesn’t Have to Close
Sam Jordan’s Bar wasn’t the only long-running San Francisco institution whose street got renamed for it that closed in 2019. Tonight, New Year’s Eve, marks the final curtain call for Steve Silver’s Beach Blanket Babylon, which has been running at North Beach’s → Read More
The New York Times Is Trolling SF and California Again and it's Garbage
The New York Times positively lives to troll San Francisco. Sometimes, it’s a prurient examination of the lives of people who rummage through trash for a living, as if that yields valuable insights about us. Other times, it’s about how dirty streets are → Read More
Don't Let Mike Bloomberg Use California to Win the Nomination
While a lot of the online left has trained its ire on Mayor Pete Buttigieg, the biggest revelation of the Democratic primary pertains to a different mayor. It turns out that Michael Bloomberg, who only apologized in November for his mayoral administration’s → Read More
Neighbors Install Homicidal Robots, Rusty Bear Traps to Deter Homeless
Inspired by the placement of two dozen boulders along both sides of Clinton Park, a quiet side street in the Mission, residents of nearby Landers Street have banded together to deter the presence of homeless encampments by placing a series of killer robots and rusty bear traps at irregular intervals. → Read More
Trump is Visiting the Bay Area Tomorrow. Are You Protesting?
On a previous visit Donald Trump made to the Bay Area, he was reduced to hopping a wall to scramble across Highway 101 in Burlingame, all to evade some protesters outside a hotel. He and his retinue weren’t playing real-life Frogger; those same protesters had blocked the freeway. But the → Read More
Bye To Bing
Unless there are more I don't know about, there is a trifecta of sexually suggestive artworks hanging prominently in three dive bars around town: the... → Read More
Who We've Lost So Far
While it's sad to note the passing of luminaries like Harper Lee, Zaha Hadid, and Alan Rickman — and worse to grapple with the victims... → Read More
Eat: Tawla
There aren't too many islands off of California, and apart from a few marine animals — salmon and oysters, mainly — California cuisine looks away... → Read More
Tuesday Eight: The Soiled Dove Brings Circus-Infused Dinner Theater to Alameda
Plus Sam Jordan's Bar & Grill gets a TV makeover, Anchor releases its Brandy-Barrel Aged Stout, and the Republican Party had a vigorous debate on whether or not working people who don't earn enough to feed their families should be allowed to have an Oreo. → Read More
Bar: Laughing Monk Brewery
I never know what to make of the specter of medieval monks who brewed beer. It's easy to conjure up images of jolly, self-contained communities of men whistling as they worked or clinking steins at communal tables under a crucifix. → Read More
Whose Line Is It, Anyway?
Tabitha Lahr isn't so sure about the latest real estate crypto-acronym for her neighborhood. "Doesn't 'DivCo' sound like a terrible supermarket?" she asks. → Read More