Darlene Lancer, The Good Men Project

Darlene Lancer

The Good Men Project

Santa Monica, CA, United States

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Recent:
  • Unknown
Past:
  • The Good Men Project
  • PsychCentral
  • Thought Catalog

Past articles by Darlene:

Is My Relationship Toxic?

Healthy relationships nourish and support us. Like poison, a toxic relationship is one that is damaging to us. → Read More

6 Best Tips for a Great Valentine’s Day

Valentine’s Day creates lots of expectations that are often unrealized. It’s fraught with landmines, whether you’re in or out of a relationship. → Read More

What Is Splitting? Why We Love Jekyll and Hate Hyde

How can lovers feel both love and hate in the same week or even hour or be devoted for years and then cut off all good memories? → Read More

How to Spot Someone Playing Victim

Feeling like a victim has taken on negative connotations, but there are people who ”play the victim” in order to manipulate you. → Read More

The Winter Solstice — Christmas as a Time of Spiritual Rebirth

How do you call upon that spirit and manifest it in your life? Do you have a relationship with your higher power? → Read More

9 Tips for Coping With Holiday Depression and Stress

This time of year is especially difficult because there’s an expectation of feeling merry and generous. → Read More

Is Your Relationship Toxic?

Although friends and family might tell us to leave, it may be hard to let go – despite the fact that the relationship is harmful and painful. → Read More

How to Feel Grateful When You Don’t

When you’re discouraged or weighed down with negative thoughts, there are several things you can do. → Read More

Relationship Anxiety: It’s a Form of Codependency Rooted in Shame

Women are more prone to this than men. → Read More

Signs of Healthy Boundaries

Healthy boundaries are essential in recovery from codependency. → Read More

Individuation: From Codependent Chameleon to Selfhood

I didn’t realize the price of being a chameleon until I started recovery and my journey of individuation. By then I was dead inside. I’d spent years adapting to abuse and belittling that I’d absorbed. → Read More

What Is a Trauma Bond?

You may be trauma-bonded and have become dependent on and addicted to your partner’s attention and validation. → Read More

DARVO: Abusers’ 'Victim-Blaming' Tactic

Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender. → Read More

The Co-dependent False Self

Giving up a false self often involves facing one’s vulnerability, fears of dependency, and the loss of the illusion of self-sufficiency. → Read More

How to Give Your Power to Narcissistic Abusers

The core problem in relationships with narcissists is that they prioritize power and sacrifice the relationship to get it, while their partners prioritize the relationship and sacrifice themselves to keep it. → Read More

Dealing With High Conflict People

Being around high-conflict people (HCP) is stressful and draining. → Read More

6 Strategies When Narcissists Won’t Let Go

Remember that narcissism is a personality disorder. A narcissist will not change for you and certainly not without years of focused therapy. You need to put yourself first and Raise Your Self-esteem. → Read More

Healing Psychic Wounds of Codependency

Codependency is more than a relationship problem. It's a wound to our psyche and individual development. Make no mistake. It's to no fault of our own. → Read More

Dating a Narcissist

Narcissists are never boring. They’re often physically attractive, charismatic, and sexually appealing. We’re drawn to their intelligence, entertaining personality, special talents, or professional success. → Read More

4 Types of Narcissism Share This Trait

Narcissism is many faceted and comes in several types. Narcissists will use a variety of tactics and defenses to keep you insecure and ensure their status and → Read More