Dan Savage, Portland Mercury

Dan Savage

Portland Mercury

Seattle, WA, United States

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Recent articles by Dan:


I recently split from a committed, monogamous, extremely long-term relationship. I'm now exploring the dating scene as someone who has never dated online prior to this year. I’m a woman with kids, and I'm not looking for another parent. I want to keep things casual. I haven't had any boyfriends yet, just a couple of regular dicks. I keep getting pissed at my regular dicks for making me feel like… → Read More

Savage Love: Ace Case

Dear Savage Love Readers, This is the “Mini” Savage Love. You’ll find the Mini column here every week—at least one great question, a (hopefully) great answer from me. To read the “Maxi” Savage Love—the full, unabridged column, with more Qs and more As—please subscribe at Savage.Love. Magnum Subs get the full column and archives and the extra-long Magnum Savage Lovecast, plus bonus podcasts and… → Read More

Savage Love: A Gay Friend Has Been Giving Me Occasional Blowjobs. Am I Using Him?

Dear Readers: I’m away this week, so we’re re-running a popular Q&A from a few years back. → Read More

Savage Love: My Husband Secretly Got Vaccinated for Monkeypox. Is He Cheating On Me?

Dear “Savage Love” Readers: After Nov. 14 my website Savage.Love will become the exclusive online home for my column. → Read More

Savage Love: Can Someone Be Homosexual and Asexual?

Can someone be both homosexual and asexual? → Read More

Savage Love: My Wife Was Sexually Assaulted in Her Past. How Can I Safely Introduce BDSM Into Our Sex Life?

I'm a 31-year-old cis man married to a 33-year-old non-binary partner, and our relationship has always been very vanilla. Over the past few years, I’ve discovered that I'm a kinky person, with a particular interest in both domination and submission. → Read More

Savage Love: Knots Landing

I'm a 31-year-old cis man married to a 33-year-old non-binary partner, and our relationship has always been very vanilla. Over the past few years, I’ve discovered that I'm a kinky person, with a particular interest in both domination and submission. It took me a long time to summon the courage to bring this up with my spouse, as they have a cocktail of factors that could complicate play around… → Read More

Savage Love: I'm Tired of Being Treated Like a Gay Black Fantasy Come to Life

There is more to this week’s Savage Love. → Read More

Savage Love: Fair Shares

There is more to this week’s Savage Love. To read the entire column, go to Savage.Love. 42-year-old dad here. I’ve been married for 12 years, and my marriage has been somewhat turbulent. But after some affairs—one where my wife screwed my best friend—and therapy, we reconnected, righted ourselves, and started a wonderful family. We both identify as bisexual now, and we are ethically… → Read More

The ass ceiling

An untouchable butt, NPR during sex, and more quickies → Read More

Savage Love: My Straight Boyfriend Sent His Male Friend Nudes and Says This Is Just Something Dudes Do?

Am I crazy or is this guy something more than a friend? → Read More

Savage Love: Police States

If your straight boyfriend sent his straight male friend messages about how much he admires his cock, does that guy count as an ex?! Dan unpacks it all and argues for the dissolution of this relationship police state. → Read More

Savage Love: Teacher in a small town craves cunnilingus

Dan offers some advice on where she might find it. → Read More

Savage Love: Jerked Around

This is a preview of this week’s Savage Love. The full version is now exclusively available on Dan’s website Savage.Love. → Read More

You can’t smother romantic feelings

While he’s hosting your birthday party and playing with your testicles, he is not your boyfriend. → Read More

Savage Love: If He Acts Like a Boyfriend, Why Does He Say He Doesn't Want to Be My Boyfriend?

Should I adjust my romantic expectations downward? → Read More

Hike the beaten path, don’t get off on it

Q: I’m a 40-year-old female, cis-het. I have very discerning tastes in men, and always end up alone. Any way to be more open without sacrificing my standards? A: You’ve either had a terrible run of bad luck—assuming you’ve dated more than ten men—or you’ve set your standards impossibly high. Some food for thought: perhaps you think you want a long-term relationship because you were told that’s… → Read More

Savage Love: It's okay to tell yourself that you don't actually want a long-term relationship

Dan offers advice to a woman who always ends up alone due to her discerning tastes in men. → Read More

Savage Love: Why Do I Always End Up Alone?

I’m a 40-year-old female, cis-het. → Read More

Savage Love: I Like Being Choked During Sex. Is That Dangerous?

I have a question about choking. → Read More